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In in return for doing more chores and a GPA of 3.0 my parents have promised me a sweet chess deal 3 to be exact but to chose only 1 so I need your help to decide.
1.Chess.com year long platinum membership
2. Any 2 chess books I want
3.A chess book under $20 each chore I do and (A+ grade I show) for a month.
My kids do chores 'cause if they don't I ruin their lives. But that said ...
#3 certainly seems like a way to get quite a bit of material under your belt. Still, it's hard to beat the platinum membership for a year in terms of the amount of good content you can see.
I would take 1)
I sort of got the opposite deal from my parents - if I happen win the K-6 national championship this weekend in Nashville I don't have to play in an OTB tournament all summer. Plus I get a real basketball hoop in the backyard. Not sure if I get the same deal if our team wins.
you dont have to ??? are you saying your parents force you to play in tournaments!
Your parents make you play in chess tournaments? That's a bummer.
Pick number 1, hard to find a good chess book for under 20. And chess 2 books doesnt seem like anything. Being able to watch the great videos here will help you most.
My kids do chores 'cause if they don't I ruin their lives.
Nice example to give to your kids... the bullying approach. Why don't you try and teach the value of genuine heartfelt collaboration?
Demanding that one does their duty is not bullying. It doesn't matter if they want to do the dishes or not, it matters that it's their job and they are responsible for doing it.
But thanks for trying to give me a parenting lesson. The next time I need some heartfelt weeding I'll call your kids, I'm sure they are so much more well rounded than mine.
Do your chores and keep your GPA up, and then when you want a book or two, ask nicely, and they might buy it for you.
A or C if you are willing to put the work into it.
Well, perhaps he can combine things. E.g. 2 chores is worth a $40.00 book. Also, the great videos here are only available for diamond members. :(
Ya it'd have to be a diamond membership or its not worth it.
Negotiate for a diamond.
You(OP) were adopted.
So you guys are against giving rewards for good grades? I was giving my granddaughter $100.00 for every B or higher she got at college. She could use it the next semester and so on and on. Later on I changed it, I just gave her $1.000.00 each semester without restrictions I just had to see her grades. She could use it for whatever she wanted as long as she was in college.
Are those bribes? Or incentives. Besides I just wanted to help her out, she even has a job while in college. Last Christmas I purchased her a ACER laptop at Costco, because hers was stolen.
One time I gave her the $1.000.00 and as she was driving home, her transmission went out. She used that money to pay for it.
When my four kids in grade school got "C" grades or higher I used to give them $10.00 for each one.
I now have two Civil Engineers, Law, Management, and building contractor.
It works well I think.
I am now at 75 going to college but nobody is giving me any money for my grades. But on Father's day I am going to present them with my grades and see if they give me something for them. They make much more money in one year than I ever did.
I offered to pay for some of their student loans and they thanked me but told me to spend it and enjoy it as they don't kneed it.
Riiiiggghhtttt,.... you mean like in life where we work and do a good job solely for the purpose of achievement or because we get a paycheck and achievement?I pay my kid for chores and she gets $ for doing a good job. . She wants something she learns to work hard, save an budget. Right now School is your job so being 'paid' for it is not a bad idea at all. The relationship between hard work and positive benefits is something kids should learn as early as possible.
I’d negotiate for cash, maybe a chess account that your parents can fund and you can draw from to pay for whatever you think is most useful for you.
All people, even kids, respond to incentives. ciljettu, you are just pointing out different incentives (pride or ability that comes from "academic achievement"), but you are not even suggesting why those incentives are better. Is there a significant difference between working for good grades because your parents will be proud of you and working for good grades because you will get $20? In either case the student is simply responding to near-term incentives. And in both cases the kid is also learning.
As far as “making the kid’s life miserable” if he does not help out around the house, is that so different from the social pressure adult roommates or spouses apply in order to achieve “genuine heartfelt collaboration”? Is insisting on social norms “bullying”?
ciljettu - do you really feel this is the place to impose your values on other people? This kid posted for some advice and you hi-jacked the thread. You're insisting that we all adopt your values on this subject, while you argue that all people should find their own motivations. Go to a parenting website if you need to hash out your issues with the way other people conduct their life.
If you want to get realistic about it there is a system of trade in families but its more based on the barter system. Forget your wife's birthday or your wedding anniversary and see what happens,...
Parents are responsible for educating their kids, it is very difficult to teach young people about issues unless you introduce them early on and they can start to learn.
You can disagree with it all you like but one of the critical jobs of parents is to is teaching concepts that are mportant for kids to become successful parts of society. work is a fact of life.
Is rewarding a kid with their favorite food or favorite toy for accomplishing a task any different than telling them up front what the expectations are and what the reward will be for meeting those expecations. We punish kids as well by limiting their access to activities and reward for accomplishig tasks . The family environment is actually the best place for teaching because of the limited number of variables and emotional support that exists at that setting. It is less emotionally damaging for a kid to be told they are not getting a reward and explaining the reasons for your actions than in a work place where a boss will fire you for talking on the cell phone, insubordination, being late, not dressing approirately etc.. As kids get older we need to be responsible about the things they will face in life (IMO around 10-12) relating this system to a more real world one of finacial rewards is teaching a realistic lesson.
Every kid is different and motivativational factors differ as well, some kids will learn best by a combination of different methods. often in life we will have things that are just no fun and the enjoyment factor is just not there for various reasons. As adults we work through those events because we know we will lose our job if we do not do what is required of us.
Are you suggesting that all the activities for kids fall into the enjoyment category? What if a child is just not academically inclined and has to work harder at say,... math, they dont enjoy it, its not fun, their success is minimal even with hard work. So YES i do what my child to think that oh wait i work hard at math, try my best, and even if my grade is average I gain additional rewards for working hard... so that pair of jeans represents hard work and effort.
Everyone doing their chores in a spirit of heartfelt cooperation, and only if they feel they should have to? People pursuing social reward in the form of self realization, boldly eschewing the concept of fiscal remuneration?
Hippy pap and twaddle. Communism writ large.
i agree the diamond membership is much better. Chess mentor and the videos are great.
chess books I would recommend starting a collection of books with annotated games. you can learn so much reading them and they last the test of time. kasparov's books are a great start
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