Rude Players

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12th February 2008, 06:38am
#1
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484

What is with these players who do not respond to challenges, or to messages?  I have heard others complain about what they consider to be unsporting behavior in the form of taking too long to make a move.  Given that we all have busy schedules keeping us away from this site, and given that some of us play many games on this site, thereby essentially forcing a delay in games for which the best move is not immediately obvious, this complaint seems a bit mis-placed.  But is there any comparable explanation for a complete lack of any response whatsoever when a challnge is issued?  Or, when a challenge is accepted, and one player sends a greeting such as "How are you?", is there any justification for the other player to not have the modicum of common courtesy required to even respond at all?  Unbelieveable!

12th February 2008, 07:09am
#2
by mxdplay4
mids UK England
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 695

I agree.  Unfortunately, not everybody has any politeness at all.  Assuming they can speak English, they are just rude.  But being rude isn't a crime so I suppose you have to put up with one game with them, then put them on your blacklist.  Eventually, if like minded people do the same, they will all end up playing each other!

Suggestion; when you have a game and enjoy playing your oppo, maybe chatting during game, swap names of a couple of others you have each played and got on with.  Birds of a feather ....


12th February 2008, 07:12am
#3
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
That is a good idea, and you are right, I have made several "friends" (if I can call them that, having never actually met them in person) on this site, so I guess the rule of the day is to stick with the winners!
12th February 2008, 07:21am
#4
by sirsc
United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 60

Choosing not to respond is not rude.  A disrespectful response is rude, but no response is just exercising personal preference.  Judging someone for choosing not to talk to you is rude.  You can't expect that everyone you play is here for the same social reasons you are.  Some just want some quiet time to play chess.  I agree, it sucks when you want to talk and your opponent doesn't, but that does not make them rude


12th February 2008, 07:24am
#5
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
With all due respect, I strongly disagree.  I can't imagine any response that I'd dislike more than no response.  A rude response is rude.  No response is beyond rude.  A terse response sends the message that "I don't really want to chat", and that is perfectly fine.  No obligation to go on and on.  But not to even reply at all?  No, that is rude, no matter how you slice it.
12th February 2008, 07:56am
#6
by dina-31Q
nicosia Cyprus
Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 40
I don't agree with you. You always have a choice.That is the meaning of freedom aboutInnocent
12th February 2008, 08:15am
#7
by Checkers4Me
Cincinnati United States
Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 302

I love to chat.

When I first started, I took offense when the other person would not respond to me. 

I guess some people want to just concentrate on the game and maybe talking distracts them. 


12th February 2008, 08:18am
#8
by NM Reb
Lisbon Portugal
Member Since: Sep 2007
Member Points: 1603
I agree that if I speak to someone and they ignore me thats rude. Ignoring people IS rude and so is ugly responses. How hard is it to just say Hi ? In this club I usually say : greetings from Lisbon when I start a game. I expect some response, if nothing but Hi, that will do fine. If someone speaks to you in person are you just gonna not respond? I dont think so. In otb events I shake hands before the game, most players I have played do, we also often say good luck or good game, etc....nothing wrong with being civil. The only thing you can really do about rude players here is just dont play them anymore.
12th February 2008, 08:24am
#9
by coco_crazy
tennesse United States
Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 137
they might have turned of chat
12th February 2008, 08:34am
#10
by xbigboy
Minnesota United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 1857
Usually I won't care, so I'll talk if they start, but USUALLY won't begin conversation.
12th February 2008, 08:38am
#11
by wisegi
toronto,canada Canada
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 112
  Hi everyone! In case I dont say hello during my game. If you say something to me I am very willing to respond but excuse me if I  miss one I will probably respond a bit later.  Also I may not initiate conversation at times but feel free to do so. Thanx for hearing me.
12th February 2008, 08:39am
#12
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
That's a good point, about disabling chat.  I have had occasion to do that three times in reply to what I considered to be rude replies, although in one of these I have since reconciled with the other party.  But what I wonder is this.  If one party disables chat, then is it disabled for both parties for that game?  That is the only way it makes sense, but if not, then it is possible that one party sends messages and the other simply does not receive them (with the first party not knowing about this development).
12th February 2008, 09:22am
#13
by skorj
Fort Erie Canada
Member Since: Jan 2008
Member Points: 45

This is the internet and we can know precious little about the people we get matched up with or why they might not respond in what we consider to be a polite manner. There are many aspects of the lives of other players that we might never anticipate or hope to understand. Attributing an unanswered greeting to rudeness is assuming the worst of someone we really know nothing about. I'd be deeply ashamed if someone I'd labeled as rude, even if only in my own mind, only to find they suffered from some disability that made it difficult or impossible for them to respond.


12th February 2008, 09:26am
#14
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
Hard for me to see how a disability could render one unable to chat yet able to play chess.
12th February 2008, 09:32am
#15
by wisegi
toronto,canada Canada
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 112
  There are chessplayer who cant read or write!  ONE example.
12th February 2008, 09:49am
#16
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
Right.  So they post blogs by typing haphazardly, and the key strokes just happen to form coherent words, sentences, and paragraphs.  Ever heard of Occam's Razor?  You don't need to make these lame excuses for them -- they are just being rude.
12th February 2008, 09:59am
#17
by Dahan
Saint Paul, MN United States
Member Since: Nov 2007
Member Points: 264

"There are chessplayer who cant read or write!  ONE example."

 

Hard to imagine. How do they get online and find chess.com?


12th February 2008, 10:05am
#18
by wisegi
toronto,canada Canada
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 112
  Okay if not responding is rude then do we always need to respond in order not to be rude? 
12th February 2008, 10:08am
#19
by Vance917
Rockville, Maryland United States
Member Since: Oct 2007
Member Points: 484
We all know which message warrant a reply and which do not.  If one player says "Hi" and the other says "Hi", then no further reply is needed, and this is not rude.  If one asks a question, and there is no reply, then yes, that is most certainly rude.  Am I telling you something you did not already know?  This is a kindergarten lesson about the golden rule, and doing unto others ...
12th February 2008, 10:16am
#20
by TylerDiablo
Pretoria South Africa
Member Since: Dec 2007
Member Points: 6
Hi everyone. Rude responses should be reported for the site staff and the rest of us to attend to (Collective responsibility). However, the more you worry about the non-responsiveness of others, the more you'd lose focus. Lets not  work ourselves up about such players. Just have fun!!!!
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