A real life one. And you walk into your new place of worship and find the floor is made up of black and white alternate tiles. Do get to the other side by only moving diagonally?

I mean, clearly if you were/are a real life knight you'd like to jump over stuff - but you just know it would be unseemly. Being a bishop is different. You could just glide down a diagonal when you thought no one was looking, go part way to the left before moving off to the right and hope it just looked normal.

Do we have a chess.com high-ranking member of the clergy who has faced this test of faith?

Better being a queen you can move anywhere :P

I must be a king...

But isn't a king rather restrictive? Only 1 step at a time?

Kings and queens probably do this all the time in their kitchens. They probably even do it in cathedrals without any spectators noticing. But bishops run far more risk of being spotted sticking to their chess rules. Which must make it all the more tempting...

I would love to be a knight ... them horses jump all over everywhere lol

The thing about bishops is that they play the long game - distance if u r literal, but if u r of a more spiritual bent, they play to win the long game, saving souls (pawns) as they go. And no makes fun Of them sidestepping their way down the nave.

come on... be a rook

No I move Like a Knight and Have never been caught