I ramble all the time, don't know what you're talking about

That's true, he does.  Whereas I stick relentlessly to the off-topic.

Occasionally I contribute to the discussion just for the sheer hell of it.

Every once in a while I'll even suggest a move.  Just to throw everybody off.

Watch out when you start arguing with yourself.

Then switch to card games like bridge, or even "Go Fish."

My knights have side conversations while they're defending d6.

I've installed forum software on my computer inaccessible by the internet which I use to have conversations with myself through approximately twenty different accounts.

I do this too, all the time in tournaments. I can probably be seen very non chalantly murmuring to myself extremely quietly, also counting and pointing at squares. No complaints yet.

Me too.....I even scream when I know I did something wrong....my husband thinks Im crazy  hahahahahaha  Oh well!!!

With the genre of a Maria Sharapova scream?

I talk out loud quite a lot but just because I think it's funny, the moves and ideas in English with a Russian accent (because russians are good chess players therefore talking English with a Russian accent will make you better)

And when there's a bad move, in German or English with a German accent

hahahaha  That is really funny!  I was  actually  doing it in italian English and Spanish but I think I will try your technique  !

That reminds me of the thing on ICC...which would always say "DRAW?" with a Russian accent. 

When I talk to myself I always meet a higher class of people.