NOTE: The other post was accidentaly deleted when trying to click edit with the left hand.

Hi, I'm new on the community and I wanted to ask you a question about a fact that really annoys me. First I'll put you in the context:

When I play with the computer, I'm totally relaxed, I barely make blunders, I find (relatively) good moves, I anticipate my opponent's (maybe the fact that It's a machine helps) and I play, in general terms, OK.

On the other hand, face to face I'm awful, I make important blunders, i don't see good moves anywhere (although reviewing I find them)... I think its called "chess blindness" (I red something about it in The Eight). By face to face, I mean versus another human being.

It's not only a chess matter because it happens to me all the time, doing things in front of other people, but it's not stage fright since I'm (again, relatively) good at talking publicly.

The case is that when I want to, in some way, "prove" something to another person my nerves betray me.

I know i'm not the unique and I'm looking for your advice, now talking about chess.

Tips? Tricks? Does it happens to you? What do you do to relax?


Thanks in advance!

PS: Sorry from my English.
PS2: If it's in the wrong section, i'm sorry, only I didn't find a better one.

EDIT:

As an example:

Me vs Computer (PyChess at level 8 of 8 (not that hard) )

And you can see me vs another player at my profile, unfortunately he made the last blunder but...

Does this apply when playing on chess.com - or only in OTB games?

If on chess.com: does it make a difference whether you chat to the other player or not?

 - is there a difference between when you play someone you have played before on chess.com - and when you play a stranger for the first time?

Hi artfizz! Thanks for your answer.

Yes, it does, I don't know what OTB (EDIT: ahhh, I think I figured it out, On The Board?) games are, but playin online makes me nervous too. I don't have much experience on playing Chess.com because I'm here since yesterday. I played a mach and both players blundered alot. I think chat makes an important diference but it doesn't solve it at all. When I talk to my oponent I feel more comfortable and that makes me feel relaxed.

On the other hand i talk to my friends every day and when they ask me to play guitar (I played classical guitar for two years) my hands shake a lot and I can't barely play complicated songs in front of them.

About playing with a stranger or whith a familiar person, I don't think it makes a big difference because I'm nervous when I play with my father too, less, but I'm still.

Thanks!

This is a very common form of anxiety over performance.  You can deal with it through expensive therapy, or if you lived in California you could get a Weed Card, but try the old public speaking trick first - because it has worked for half a century for a large number of people who have the same fears as you about performing in public (even if it's just one person).

Visualize your opponent/audience in their underwear.  Picture it clearly in your mind, and use your imagination to get details down like who wears Sponge Bob boxers and who wears "granny" panties.  See the wrinkles, stomach rolls, and body hair in your mind's eye.  Once you can do that, it tends to relax you to deal with what you are there to do.  Nobody is very threatening or scary in their underwear.  Well, there was my second wife, but you don't want to go there.

The mere mental image of me in my underwear is usually enough to sear out the eyes of people for miles around.

I would guess, though, that once you get engrossed in playing a piece of music, you can almost forget that anyone is there listening.

Also, while you are no doubt keenly aware of any mistakes you have made, your listeners will generally not be aware. Would you be able to lighten up on yourself a little?

Hi again and thanks for the answers!

About the underwear trick, I think it could help, but I think it's more a self-suggestion matter, how could I imagine an online oponent in underwear? I guess if you think that imagining someone in underwear will make you feel relaxed, it will.

About playing guitar, I know what you mean, it's just I can't start playing a piece with my hands shaking, I don't know if they are aware of my mistakes but I don't want to make them.

In chess they are aware of my mistakes, a blunder can make you lose a game where you were winning, in fact it mostly does, if the other player is not as much as nervous as you are, of course, and makes the last blunder.

Thanks anyway! I will try the panties trick then playin face to face, and don't thinking about my mistakes when playing guitar!

PS: Now I recall my guitar teacher told me to imagine the public pumpkin-headed when he wanted me to play an audition, I didn't play it either... Maybe it would have work.

It's fear of failure.  In your mind your a good player, deep down you know you are, but there's always that niggling doubt that you might turn out to be crap compared to the competition. 

I know how you feel.  It seems to be such a useless emotion because no matter what you do, at some point you will fail regardless of how calm or talented you are. 

It's like anything else.  Do it often enough and those feelings will go away, I guess on Chess.com the feeling sort of ebbs away with each victory.  Until finally you just don't care anymore. 

My advice is to forget the opponent.  Focus on the game. 

You could try using Conditional Moves. It takes an online chess game slightly offline.

Another suggestion in online games is to take your time - do not give the move when you impulsively try to move - have a break, review your move, think of other possibilities. Just my two cents.

DMX21x1, you nailed it.

I feel like you're saying, I'll work on forgeting the opponent but it's not as easy as it sounds.

The fact is as you described, I know there is no reason to care but I know it will happen and then... it happens, sometimes I feel totally encouraged and I say to myself: "aha, now it won't happen", but when I'm going to start, I think: "if it..." and it comes.

I will play on Chess.com and lose, and lose until I get calm.

Thanks for the feedback!

Wow, sorry artfizz and dsarkar, you posted while I was writting.

I don't know how to use conditional moves in live chess but, anyway, I really enjoy playing and I don't want to change it, but thanks!

Calming down, it's simple, but I think that if I overexagerate it, it would be nice, playing slow, doing it all slow... it may seem dumb but an idea just came to my mind.

Thanks to you both!

Correspondence Chess is probably the best way to avoid the tension factor in Chess. 

I don't know if you have similar problems to me when it comes to using a clock in games.  That tends to heighten the anxiety for me.  I like to take my time and think about it.  Bottom line is I'm not used to it.  When I learned how to play there was no clock involved.  It's just unwanted pressure.

Some people thrive on that but it's not for me.  I would recommend that approach until your comfortable with playing online. 

This is close to the effect of stage fright,i suggest you alwas play wit a face cap as you style all you see is the board until the end of the game when you must have won then look up.   

Hi again!

DMX21x1, you hit the nail on the head again, the time factor is also very important to me, I could never play counter-clock (not sure about the expression) games.

About the face cap issue, I'm not sure I want to do that... On the other hand I find extraordinarily attracting Blind Chess, and it's a great conjunction of both things, so if I improve on chess some day I will be able to play, not with a face cap, but with a blindfold.

Thanks!

I didn't ment that :P

What i ment is playing totally blindfolded. I think our misunderstanding was because of my lack of english knowledge, sorry for that.

I was looking for a convergence point between your suggestion and my dignity. With a blindfold I will not see the other person and I won't look like a freak. The problem is, precisely, that you can't see the board, thats why I said:

My first live chess game, I was quite nervous. My palms were sweaty and the 5 minute game was extremely difficult to play. I lost the game badly, and I almost laugh at that time now. However, once you've lost a few games you'll come to realize that everybody makes mistakes once in a while, and hopefully your opponent makes more than you will, but if you blunder, it's perfectly okay 

Also, try playing Online Chess. The pressure is very low and you have almost all the time you want to make the best move. Hope this helps!

Agree with gbidari, it may sound new agey or corny, but paying attention to your breathing and focusing on the task at hand (being in the moment) helps significantly.  Read "The Power of Now," by E. Tolle.  Josh Waitzken even covers this in "The Art of Learning."