Sometimes in our lives we need to step back and reflect on the consequences of our actions. The following list is intended as an aid to reflection when we begin to wonder: Do I have too many games going at once?
Top Ten Bad Things About Playing Too Much Chess on Chess.com
10. (for men) Breaking up with your girlfriend—she was only a distraction anyway.
10. (for women) Having your boyfriend get more interested in chess than in you—he was only a distraction anyway.
9. Getting fired because your boss catches you playing at work—the job was only a distraction anyway.
8. Forgetting your mother’s birthday—there wouldn’t have been any chess there anyway.
7. Hearing the alarm go off and realizing you’ve been playing all night.
6. Hearing the neighbor’s dog growling and realizing it’s your stomach.
5. Hearing the front door break down and realizing you’re being evicted.
4. Losing your internet service and realizing you haven’t paid your bills in two months. The worst part about this is that because you haven’t joined as a Premium Member (dummy!) the system doesn’t put you into vacation and all your games time out (revenge of the chess gods).
3. Smelling something odiferous and realizing it’s you.
2. Thinking #3 is kind of cool.
1. Playing bad chess!
Ain't it though??
1. Having nightmares about knight forks and bishop pins.
2.Reading chess books in school and having your professor call on you to answer a question and you realize that you are probably in a zugswang.
3.Playing one on one basketball and when your opponent says. "Check ball" you jump out of the way.
No joke. Listen to this.
A month or so ago I found this site, started playing chess like every day.
Well one night I was playing chess with my girlfriend, she thought she had a fork on my queen a king. I got a little excited because she fell into my trap, knocked over the peice, woke up and I had a pop spilled all over me and my girlfriend was laughing at me. Turns out my queen was actually the can of pop I had on my nightstand, I picked it up while I was sleeping (like it was a chess piece) and set it on my bed. I think she spilled it when she rolled over and I knocked it off the bed afterwards I donno. But when I woke up it was to her voice asking why I was drinking pop in bed. I replied with "I'm playing chess", in a half-asleep mumble.
LOL
I hope she sticks around!!
Great post ThreeQueens!! Very funny.
Hopefully, nobody will begin to look like Cartmen, Stan, Kyle or Kenny did when they became obsessed with playing Warcraft online!
I too appreciate and thank those at chess.com.
1. start thinking of how you could fork two people when you are walking on the street:)
1. alike the thinking of trading a pawn for a queen, i try to as a 130 pound weakling to attack heavyweight wrestlers.
2. After getting the snot beat out of me claiming said heavyweight champion is jealous of my elo rating.
3. Accusing kids i'm teaching chess of using rybka.
4. Failing socials after presenting my arguments why 3 serfs were worth the life of 1 knight, and 3 knights were worth the life of 1 queen.
5. Using Lenny Bongcloud as an anti-drug lecturer.
6. Failing socials again by saying the manga carta would have been avoided if king john castled earlier
7. Me laughing hysterically at people playing checkers
8. Saying harry potter is better then the lord of the rings... cuz it has chess.
9. General confusion when bishops walk on checkered floors.
10. General confusion when picking up common kitchen items like forks and skewers.
Lol!
Make Chess not warcraft !!!!
Haha. First I have to say that this is a fantastic thread and I think ThreeQueens rules for having started it. And second, Mikedasnipe's post is absolute genius - especially 4 and 6. Inspired!
Okay, so I tried to come up with a few to add.
While on a date, working to build the tension instead of immediately capturing.
Thinking of a coaster as a “good square” for my pint.
Saying “J'adoube” when you adjust anything.
Thinking profoundly about Josh Waizkin's idea of “The Space Left Behind” in relation to breakups. (seriously)
When in any kind of conflict you instinctually try to “control the center”.
Pointing out the touch-move rule on a bowl of chips at a party.
Generally thinking about your own life in terms of position, material, and tempo.
Feeling guilty about saying the word “chess” too often in sentences with your non-chess playing friends.
Thinking the movie “The Dark Knight” is worth ~3 points.
Thinking that when someone drops their wallet that they're leaving it “en prise”.
Spending ½ hour trying to come up with clever answers to ThreeQueen's thread, because trying to impress the chess.com community means something to you.
11.5. Thinking not that your list is brilliant, but that it constitutes a brilliancy, even though it doesn't involve much of a sacrifice. (Pride?)
1.Having nightmares about skewers.
2.Spending approx. 9.69% of your life on ICC (an accumalted 639.44 hours)
3.(For girls)Having all the guys at the chess tournaments try to flirt with you, and then be insanely creeped out every other time you see them.
4.Days off aren't spent relaxing-they're spent practicing.
5. Losing.
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