Don't do that artfizz. I didn't mention thy name in vain as the Lord likes to admonish us, but in pain. I followed that link - that was a good laugh. However, considering you're getting more mention on chess.com than the Lord's Prayer in a Protestant church, your lawyer is going to be one hombre rolling in the lucre.

Hmm perhaps I'll say something nice about you when I've wound down some of my chess games and have time for new ones. I'll be hard put to it to do so, but I'll try my best .

Thread revived "Hotposted" for info cakeye especially posts 1 and 19

As a distinguished pillar of his local community, he was invited to hand out the prizes at the end-of-year prize-giving ceremony at the same private girls school. He found it quite difficult to come up with an interesting comment to make to each winner, other than 'Congratulations!' or 'Well done!'.

The final recipient was the head girl, an attractive 17-year old. He made a special effort, and asked her: 'What are you planning to do when you leave school?'

She replied, rather coyly: 'Well, I had thought of going straight home ...'

More skeletons are coming out of your cupboard xqsme ... Better not hotpost that one...

Did u hear about the 2 skellingtons who requested whiskies?

Were told "Sorry no licence to serve spirits !"

Now if only there was someone who remembered Teja from her (probably) misspent youth ...

Dream on .. lol. My youth was spent in productive, glorious fashion sir.. Hmm now I'm wondering about you .. when did you first learn about pubs?

A bishop was visiting America. He had been alerted to the fact that the American media would try to twist anything he said to portray the Church in a poor light. On his arrival in New York, he was confronted by a horde of journalists, all shouting questions at him. He was asked: 'Are you planning to visit any strip joints while you are over here?'

He replied by asking: 'Are there any strip joints in New York?'. This diplomatic answer got a few laughs and he thought he had put one over the Press. The following day's headlines ran:

Bishop's first question on arrival in U.S. : 'Are there any strip joints in New York?'

lol lol I see that you know how the press works ..

It's just as well he wasn't visiting the Caymans. I hear the Press there are real tough guys.

Oh yes and we practise voodoo too .. maybe I should sent u an invitation, artfizz .

You're a humbug artfizz lol .. sewing machine? now who's confused?

I was just moving it out of the way so I could reach the chain saw.

oh my .. I suppose that is for trimming the crust off the bread. I know you said you live in a tool shed and all, but surely you still use conventional cutlery ..

Perhaps uses it for his unicorns... they were sprouting profusely a few days ago !

A unicorn has, by definition, only a single horn. I must have been sprouting multicorns.

Ahbutt ahbutt ,by disposition , yours were uniquehorns !

By the way ART can u throw any light on the disappearance from threads "WHAT COMES TO MIND" by ADK and "WORD ASSOCIATION" by wayne 69 of all  comments after posts 2000 ?  These threads not now recording attempted comments by myself (Yes I know I "asked for it ! ") but don't think that's the reason! THERE WAS SOME SORT OF CONVULSION ON MY PART OF THE SITE AND MY SCREEN FROSE AND RESISTED THE USUAL ATTEMPTS TO FREE IT. Staff later shut site down but these threads still non- op today.