LOL!!.... :D Indeed, mate! No wonder chess isn't FDA approved....

How does chess give you constipation?

There,r much mad gujs here, ha-ha!

Hair loss ?? I have plenty of hair !

I started going bald before I started playing chess, so no worries for me there!

You mean head, ah well I got a pony tail there !

my first girlfriend had long, flowing hair down her back.  None on her head, just down her back.   (insert cymbal crash)

 Yeah, but how was her chess?

Chess, I said... with two 's'-es and no 't'-s. Keep your mind out of the gutter.

 hehe, divorce...I like that1

My condition?:  Possible mass murder tendencies, but I get medication, so I have hope.......

I've been playing seriously for only about three months now, and my poor wife already calls herself a chess widow. I'm at chess club every Friday night, and I'm going out of town all weekend for a tournament, and when I am home, I'm either studying, playing on here, or boring her to tears explaining the merits of various lines of the Alekhine's defense or something.

I just tell her it could be worse, I could be out drinking. 

Chess, like every other form of addiction, needs a sense of proportion so you get the benefits without the massive withdrawals symptoms.

Chess is like a cold sore, the more you pick it the worse it gets.

One thing is for certain: You should never operate heavy machinery while playing chess... :P That ought to make for some pretty scr*wed up buildings and bridges...

I've experienced all but divorce and suicide. Now I know what has being causing all my problems. Thanks so much. What about a game?

What you say about this addiction is obviously fabricated.  My wife will attest to the fact that I HAVE DEFINITELY NOT LOST MY APPETITE.

I accept your challenge!