LOL
That story reminds me of a First Aid course I took one day.
The instructor asked one person to lay on the floor, and pretend to be unconcious. He then told my friend "You see this person just lieing there. What do you do?"
My friend looked around the room quickly, "Nobody watching?" reached in the victims back pocket, and took his wallet!
The instructor wasn't amused for some reason. Everybody else was in hysterics, though.
At the recent Collegiate Pan-Am in Dallas, there was a streaker (well, he had underwear on) who entered the room and ran across while yelling "whoooo." It was about 2 hours into the round so there was just under half the room still playing, but everyone just kinda froze and watched as the guy slowly ran across the room yelling. As he was exiting through the door, one of the GMs on the top boards (I believe it was Timur Gareev who is #4 in the US, but not 100% certain there) got up, shoved him, and took one of his shoes (why? I have no clue). The streaker looked shocked but still got up and continued running. No one saw him afterwards and nothing much was done about it, except the guy lost a shoe.
man that was funny. oh god this thread is really awesome by the way
There was a guy who accused me of disturbing him by offering a draw repeatedly,in reality i had offered him a draw only once.he then went on to call the arbiter and made an issue out of it.But as i was younger and knew the arbiter very well,He just ignored the imbecile and told him to cal down.
I lived in an area in Illinois where there were no really good players and even though I won several tournaments my USCF rating was only about 2000.
Then I got a chance to play in the 1973 U S Open in
Chicago [yes a long time ago] and did well losing to a senior master
but beating the current [at the time] Chicago champ and Sandrin drawing with the Illinois State Champion Karlins, beating
a grandmaster, Bisguier, and drawing with a former Illinois state
champ. [that was a little surprise in itself] I came out with a
USCF rating of 2188 and needed 12 more points to become a
USCF master and what happened soon after was a surprise [bad surprise].
I played in a USCF rated tournament in Kankakee which was 4 rounds and I won all 4 games.
Then a month later, I played in another USCF rated tournament in Kankakee and again it was 4 rounds only and I won all 4 games.
Even just the first Kankakee tournament enough to get the 12 points to become 2200 plus USCF master and then I also had the other 4-0 result.
I kept looking for my copy of
Chess Life to come and for the first month and second month and 3rd month--my rating stayed the same at 2188. I contacted the tournament
director after receiving my 3rd magazine without a rating change and he
said [and here is the punch line] that he, himself had played in both tournaments and he had a bad result and did not send in the results
to USCF!!!
after that I became engrossed in correspondence chess and did much better than in over the board and to this day some 39 years later my USCF rating still at 2188...
man that is a really heavy story
Back in 1973 I played in a tournament in Utica, NY (my second tourney). There was an IM there (let's call him XX), and since he was the first titled played I had ever met, I had him autograph a game of his that was published in Chess Life & Review. Now, XX showed up to the event with two friends, one a @2180 (YY) playing in the open, the other a 1700 (ZZ) playing in the reserve section, but XX didn't play in the event. During the event, XX watched his friends games, and they (YY and ZZ) would converse with him, even if their clocks were running. It wasn't until the third round, when ZZ played a friend of mine and quickly turned a bad position (for ZZ) into a crush (my friend had white in a Petroff, and we both done a lot of work in the P, and knew it well) after a long look by XX and a talk with ZZ, while ZZ's clock was running. I was thinking that this was a case of sour grapes on my friends part, but he wanted to report him to the TD, so we went to find him. Finding the TD was a story in itself--in the middle of a round, he was in his hotel room with another man, and the stench of sweat that came out of the room was so thick it was physical. My friend said, "When you're done in there, you want to put on some pants and come do your job? There's a problem." The TD showed up after a few minutes, and when we told him what was happening, he (naturally) was reluctant to confront a titled player who wasn't even in the event. The talk went from my friends game to the game on board one, between YY and Dr. Erich Marchand, who ruled chess in upstate New York for years. Marchand had been easily handling YY during the opening and early middle game, but now the Dr. had a poor position. It was YY's turn to move, and he, XX, and ZZ were nowhere to be found. Marchand looked around from the board and on not seeing them, got up to find them. We were in the lobby with the TD, and he had just finished saying, "What could have gotten into Marchand? He was killing him," when the door to the men's room flew open with a loud bang. Marchand stormed out, his face deep red, the veins bulging in his head, and stomped his way into the tournament hall. Out of the men's room, guilt written all over their faces, came XX, YY, and ZZ. When we asked Marchand the next day about pressing the matter, he said that it was pointless to pursue it, as it was his word versus the other three. We said we'd go to bat with him, but again he correctly pointed out that we had no proof. YY won the open, and ZZ won the booster. XX wound up getting involved in banking and politics. I threw his autograph out the window of the car on the way home, and to this day have no respect for him or the other players.
Yeah, that's the problem confronting some one like that. You see, in the last round, the TD was absent as usual, and my opponent and I moved our board way over to the side, in order to smoke at the board when this was one of the first non-smoking events in USCF history. XX and ZZ came over to our area, and I overheard XX telling the whining ZZ, "Don't worry, don't worry; look at Rook to King three." I asked at my opponent, "Did you hear that?", and he shrugged his shoulders and said, "What are you gonna do?" To complain again would only be beating a dead horse--my opponent was right.
I guess the world of chess isn't pure and having a title isn't equivalent to sainthood. That's a good, but sad, story. Thanks so much for sharing it. Respect does belong to the man, not the title.
Once I was playing in a G/15 side event at a US Open against a 2350 player and wound up, after much confusion, in a K+R+B vs K+R endgame where I had the extra bishop. However, in time pressure, I made an illegal move and, thinking that equaled an instant loss in "action chess", resigned. Of course, I discovered very quickly thereafter that A) illegal moves aren't losses in 15 minute games (the penalty is two extra minutes on my opponent's clock) and B) the game was actually rated as a normal OTB game. Thus I can perhaps legitimately claim to be the only person to actually lose an "official" KBR vs KR endgame with the extra Bishop.
Back in 1973 I played in a tournament in Utica, NY (my second tourney). There was an IM there (let's call him XX), and since he was the first titled played I had ever met, I had him autograph a game of his that was published in Chess Life & Review. Now, XX showed up to the event with two friends, one a @2180 (YY) playing in the open, the other a 1700 (ZZ) playing in the reserve section, but XX didn't play in the event. During the event, XX watched his friends games, and they (YY and ZZ) would converse with him, even if their clocks were running. It wasn't until the third round, when ZZ played a friend of mine and quickly turned a bad position (for ZZ) into a crush (my friend had white in a Petroff, and we both done a lot of work in the P, and knew it well) after a long look by XX and a talk with ZZ, while ZZ's clock was running. I was thinking that this was a case of sour grapes on my friends part, but he wanted to report him to the TD, so we went to find him. Finding the TD was a story in itself--in the middle of a round, he was in his hotel room with another man, and the stench of sweat that came out of the room was so thick it was physical. My friend said, "When you're done in there, you want to put on some pants and come do your job? There's a problem." The TD showed up after a few minutes, and when we told him what was happening, he (naturally) was reluctant to confront a titled player who wasn't even in the event. The talk went from my friends game to the game on board one, between YY and Dr. Erich Marchand, who ruled chess in upstate New York for years. Marchand had been easily handling YY during the opening and early middle game, but now the Dr. had a poor position. It was YY's turn to move, and he, XX, and ZZ were nowhere to be found. Marchand looked around from the board and on not seeing them, got up to find them. We were in the lobby with the TD, and he had just finished saying, "What could have gotten into Marchand? He was killing him," when the door to the men's room flew open with a loud bang. Marchand stormed out, his face deep red, the veins bulging in his head, and stomped his way into the tournament hall. Out of the men's room, guilt written all over their faces, came XX, YY, and ZZ. When we asked Marchand the next day about pressing the matter, he said that it was pointless to pursue it, as it was his word versus the other three. We said we'd go to bat with him, but again he correctly pointed out that we had no proof. YY won the open, and ZZ won the booster. XX wound up getting involved in banking and politics. I threw his autograph out the window of the car on the way home, and to this day have no respect for him or the other players.
Are you positive YY wasn't the other man in the hotel room?
Would explain a lot......
YY yes I am--they were nothing alike. 
On a personal level, I once lost a game in a club tournament by playing the move checkmate. It was a rapid transit tournament, and I simply didn't wait for the buzzer and moved immediately, an automatic loss--no matter what the move!
YY yes I am--they were nothing alike.
On a personal level, I once lost a game in a club tournament by playing the move checkmate. It was a rapid transit tournament, and I simply didn't wait for the buzzer and moved immediately, an automatic loss--no matter what the move!
Those can get confusing. I played in one once. Too easy for players to cheat in those.
I was at a tournament, my friend from my club showed up. He said he was worried about his car, Because he parked it on the street. where there was 2 hour maximum parking. He was afraid they might tow it.
So I said there's a parking lot not too far away, I could show him where it is. So he said okay, and we walked out of the hotel and started walking.
And talking.
And walking. And talking.
And walking. And talking.
After several blocks, about 15 minutes later, he gets mad and says "How far is this parking lot??"
I said "What are you talking about?? I thought we were walking to your car! I'm following you!!"
And he said "I'm following you!"
Here we were crossing streets, turning corners, and neither one of us was leading.
I also thought you were walking to the car!
lol
Heh, that's funny.
I bet it feels presumptuous to tell a GM and former US Champion how to play chess.
I bet it feels presumptuous to tell a GM and former US Champion how to play chess.
Maybe he was attempting a swindle. If the opponent doesn't catch it, you didn't do it. :-P
Very true. Polgar didn't call Kasparov a cheat, when he did it. Did she?
c'mon let's revive this thread it's very entertaining!
Here's my story:
On the night before the main tournament, my friend and I participated in a bughouse side tournament. Every round, as soon as the pairings were up the TD would get mobbed by all the kids trying to see their pairing first. The first round this happened the TD snapped and yelled, "You'll all get a chance to see the pairings, NO NEED TO SHOVE PEOPLE AND KICKING TD WON'T HELP THINGS EITHER!!"
Soon everyone finally settled down at their boards and the TD, already slightly enraged, asked "Are there any questions about the rules?" Some smartass decided to ask "What's Bughouse?" The room exploded with laughter. The TD, trying not to get angry again, answered as calmly as he could "If you don't know how to play bughouse, you need to leave right now." After a few more serious questions, that same guy decided to ask, "How does a pawn move?" That was the last straw. Some people laughed, but they knew the TD had had it, the TD, thoroughly maddened, bellowed, "YOU MAY THINK YOU'RE BEING FUNNY, BUT I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS. ONE MORE STUPID QUESTION OUT OF YOU AND I'LL THROW YOU OUT OF NOT ONLY THIS TOURNAMENT BUT THE TOURNAMENT TOMORROW, TOO. NOW SHUT UP BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE HAVE SERIOUS QUESTIONS I NEED TO ANSWER SO WE CAN GET STARTED!!!"
Scholastic Tournaments are very entertaining