You can only sing if your a fat lady.

 I wasn't finished! =D

He sat there for another minute, sighed, and made his only move. I had a bead of sweat coming down my eye, and right  before I moved........ MY TIME RAN OUT! IT WAS A Draw from insufficient material! LOL JK!! I WON BY CHECKMATE!!!

You are a madcap, zman.

A long time ago, me and three friends used to play together fairly often.  We were all roughly even in skill.  One of the players would never resign.  No matter how far down he was, no matter how clear it was that he was going to lose, he would play it out.

Lets call him John.

Another member of our group was very irritated by this.  I'll call him Bob.

One day, Bob and John were playing.  John blundered and lost his queen to a tactic, but kept playing.  He was down material and position.  Soon, Bob was able to pick up more material, and then more, and John had nothing but a few unconnected pawns - but he still wouldn't resign.

Bob got to a position with an easy one move win, but didn't take it.  he ran around picking off the last of John's pawns.  He moved powns to the 7th rank where they could easily promote, then left them there to advance another pawn.  He made pointless checks that just chased John's king around the board.  And he was very careful not to give a checkmate or a stalemate.

John was getting mad.  "Just mate me and end the game".  Bob told him "No, you can end the game by resigning.  You always refuse to resign.  If you won't resign, I'm going to stretch out your misery as long as I can.  And every time I beat you from here out, I'm going to do it again, until you learn to resign when your position is hopeless."

It pissed John off, but it taught him a lesson.  Don't be a jerk, or you'll get treated like a jerk.

 OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEAAAHHH!!!!

Garry Kasparov is my favorite world champion

 OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHH YEEEAAAHHH!!!!