This is just for jokes like

 

You know youve played too much Chess when your nightmares are Qb4xRg7#

avenger01 wrote:

This is just for jokes like

 

You know youve played too much Chess when your nightmares are Qb4xRg7#

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 i thought the outcome for a joke is laughter, or at least lqtm=laughing quietly to myself. im not lol,rofl,lmao, or even lqtm!

When I've done nothing but playing chess all day long my dreams are usually nothing but chess combinations playing out in front of me. I guess then you've played too much chess

When you see people move about and say to yourself that one of them just gained the opposition.

"it's time for a "dentist""-love to say my friend :)

Bulgarian humo(u)r?

You know youve played too much Chess when ....

You've stayed up till 3am playing blitz on-line when you have to get up at 6am the next morning in order to go to work.

Bulgarian humo(u)r? '''

du you know what that mean ? ?

you know youve played to much chess when in real life you start thinking about ways to sacrafice your queen in order to mate.

falldowndrunk wrote: you know youve played to much chess when in real life you start thinking about ways to sacrafice your queen in order to mate.

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 rolf

You know you've played too muchchess when you replace your desk with a chessboard.

You know you've played too much chess when you start thinking with Knight moves.

 

(I've actually had times when I've been thinking in chess moves or combinations. Man were those days wierd... haha.) 

No matter what people say you know they talk about chess.

 

@horror987z: Т'ва за зъболекаря и аз не го разбрах.

When the most romantic gesture you've done in life is sacrifice a queen.

Shruikon wrote:

You know you've played too much chess when you start thinking with Knight moves.

 

(I've actually had times when I've been thinking in chess moves or combinations. Man were those days wierd... haha.) 

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You aren't alone. (Those days ARE really weird!)

Too much chess? You guys crack me up :)

xbigboy wrote: You know you've played too muchchess when you replace your desk with a chessboard.

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 I need my desk to hold all four of my chess boards

  sac a queen to mate   thats why i'm single  again

You know you have played to much chess when you start running the 100ms diagonally. 

oddly enough there's a quiz that can help determine whether you have a chess addiciton.

http://chessville.com/misc/Fiction/TopTenTellTaleSignsofChessAddiction.htm

Leading Iraqi clerics, good men that they are, have seen through the subtleties of Satan’s game, and have banned chess.  Allah bless them!  George W. Bush, good old boy that he is, never even learned the moves of the game.  God bless America!

World leaders are thus in agreement: Chess is a dangerous form of mental addiction.

What about you?  Do you see people as pawns?  Yourself as king?  Friend, the mere fact that you’re here at Chessville reading this article ain’t exactly in your favor.

For your own good, for the sake of your loved ones, take e few minutes to determine if you are a chess-o-holic.

1. As soon as you are out of bed, you log onto Chessclub.com "just for a quickie".

2. The bottom four links of the intellectual food-chain are fish, potzers, weakies, and "jerks who can’t even play".

3. When with your "most significant other" at that "most significant moment" you yell "Mate! Mate!"

4. In the absence of a most significant other, you fondle your Staunton pieces.

5. Kramnik excites you.

6. Gentlemen, you find yourself seated on a bus next to this woman.  Do you:

a. Whip out your best come-on line;

b. Whip out your little black book and ask the lady why her name’s not in it;

c. Whip out your pocket-sized Russian dictionary;

d. Whip out your pocket-sized chess set, push e-4, and growl, "Yer move, grandmaster!"
 

7. Ladies, you find yourself seated on a bus next to this man.  Do you:

a.Whip out your best "come-on-big-boy" look

b.Whip out your patented pervert-repellent pepper spray;

c.Whip out your Nikes and run for your life

d.See above

8.The threat of global annihilation via nuclear holocaust:

a.Is a result of the man above.

b.Is the result of articles like this.

c.Is evidence that we are in "End-Times"

d.What the hell does that have to do with chess?
 

9.Vladimir Nabokov was:

a.A Russian James Joyce with a dash of Poe in his veins.

b.A fellow with a taste for unripe fruit.

c.A butterfly chaser.

d.Some guy who wrote a book about a nutty chess player.
 

10. Chess is:

a.A metaphor for truth and beauty.

b.A mystery all insoluble.

c.Better than "doing the wild thing."

d.________________________(Fill in the blank)

Scoring:

• The mere fact that you took this test counts against you: negative 10 points.

• For every "yes" answer you gave, that’s negative another 10, pal.

• For every answer "d" you gave, you know what to do.  (By the way, if you answered both questions 6 and 7, you have problems well beyond the scope of this article.)

• If you choose "d" for number 10 and said "Life", please close this web-page and go get one.

Rating:

• -30 to –50: Incipient Chess Addict.  Seek professional help now!  It’s not too late for you to get into a more healthy, fulfilling lifestyle, such as bungee-cord jumping, crocodile wrestling, or monster-truck fairs!

• -60 to –80: Confirmed Chess Abuser.  Buddy, you’re a mess.  With bloodshot eyes, you stagger from game to game, loose pawns in your raggedy pockets.  You have so many old game-scores lying around your house that you use them for toilet-paper (which you forgot to buy).  Do you think your mama had you so you could hit the board like Alekhine hit the bottle?  Think it over.

• -90 and down.  Ugante: You despise me, don’t you?  Rick: If I gave you any thought, I probably would.