Ok so whats after that?

then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

erik wrote:then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

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 That might have happened to me once... only, I also started a club where people could fight each other. Don't remember what the club was called though

erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

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ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?

DPG1232 wrote: erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

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ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?

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 then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!

Lol right on!  Go erik!

erik> then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!

Don't despair--this is but another test. In days of yore, before initiates could enter a Zen temple, they had to wait at the gate for a day, a week, or more to prove their dedication. Some still practice it to this day, as does chess.com HQ. Once Erik finally admits you, you'll find couches, snack machines, and soda machines--you'll never have to leave. Which is just as well, since getting readmitted is even harder.

I'm lazy and don't like work. Can I sleep in your basement and eat out your bin? How do I qualify?

erik wrote: DPG1232 wrote: erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

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ok and if i survive that torture, whats next?

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 then i will come outside and hand you a piece of paper that says "sorry, we're not hiring". because we're not. sorry!

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lol

If I´m you... I don´t need to ask for a part of the staff... I own this shit!

Oh man everybody who has beeten me here will pay... xD

erik wrote:

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

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 i've a couple deeper questions than the one posted above. 1. can you go public with chess.com and put it on the NYSX or sumthin? i've managed to save up like 40 bucks!!! over the past three years so..2. can you make it so there's 79 shares at $1 a pop so i can buy 40 of'em and be majority share-holder?

erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. eventually i might let you in, but then i will burn your hand with lye (used to make soap). then i will ask you to destroy the world's financial institutions. then you will realize that you are actually me.

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 More importantly.  If Tyler Durden played himself in chess, who would win?

This is not a normal site this is chess.com and if you want to join the staff here you have to be something special. (answering for you erik since I´ve understud after many hours of waiting that I am you)

erik wrote: then you have to come stand outside my door until i let you in. no food, nothing. i will insult you every day. 

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 ROFL

Only if you promise to come out and hit me with a broom every hour on the hour. 

you are not your khaki pants.

erik wrote: you are not your khaki pants.

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? Don´t understand...

Meee=Stupid?

( I know I am stupid but more or less than the average chess.com member?)

JRadis wrote: erik wrote: you are not your khaki pants.

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? Don´t understand...

Meee=Stupid?

( I know I am stupid but more or less than the average chess.com member?)

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Erik's referring to the movie Fight Club.

Erik, can you notify me if you are hiring?
 

dpg1232:  are you working for free?  since you play here for free - would you work for free????

 

Erik might hire you if you work for free -   just a thought.....