Is there anyway to become a Chess.com staff? If so, how do you become one?

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

• how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?
• what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?
• if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?
• if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?
• what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

are you serious??!!?! lol

abso-freaking-lutely. you think you can be a light-weight and work at chess.com ?

Brings back monty python memories, lol

Did you look at the tournament issue I reported in the forum, erik? 

I believe the answer to all of the above is "42". Do I get a job?

After a little test my answer to the first question is 140 (lowsy I know but I played football today (soccer)).

At the second question, well the last chimpazee I saw with a knife was pretty kind nut I have never met a 2-legged tiger so my answer here will take some time...

At the third question: Yes, she is poor. But if it was my rich grandfather on the other hand...

At the 4th question: Languages... Well I´m pretty lowsy at this with speaking but perhaps 11 (12 if you count english but after seeing my spelling I guess its 11)

About the money, well not that long, not ewen 5h with chess mentor :( But if I only get a silver membership perhaps two months.

And the final question: I play on and win the chess game I never let things like that distract me in a chessgame (but as you said if it had touched my eyball it is completely different).

 

If I learn how to make more push-ups can I join?

-240

-the tiger (how's he going to catch me?)

-my grandma doesn't pay taxes.  i don't know if you can cheat on a pension... 

-I speak 15 languages and have inside men with all the local pickpocket groups. 

-roundhouse kick.  in the eye? 3 roundhouse kicks.  best keep it simple. 

• 0-I don't do push ups.  I push the Earth down.
  
• knife wielding chimp
• No
• 2 bad English and worser English
• Woman?  Marry her.
• Man?  Lock him in the same cage as the tiger and chimp.

lol. thanks for the fun responses!

erik wrote:

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

---

 1, about 20...

2, what two legs? what kind of knife? too many variables to answer

3,yea....no 

4, 3 lang's...english, piglatin, and a touch of leet-speak- 4

5, yell at them in a fake language and make rude gestures with my toes

er....do I get the job even if I don't know how to play chess ? After all, it's the IT stuff one needs to know, right ? Someone once tried to explain to me a funny pawn move...called ant pissing or something like that, and how the castle and the horse moves, apparently there are more accurate terms to call them by...ah, who cares ?

Erik, here’s my translation of your response:

The company is made up of a few uniquely suited individuals.  You’re not hiring, necessarily, but you’re always open to that one in a million, perfect fit, future employee.  Oh, and the bar is set high.

Or a more direct translation might be;  you’re looking for people who can work hard and fast, withstand every kind of craziness imaginable, and will work for $11/day. 

11/day!

You missunderstud him, he wants to see how much payed we should have. So if you can survive 70 days on  $11 guess how much and how often you get payed :)

JRadis, I know.  I was being optimistic :).

1 well it's been 60 seconds; that would be 0, now help me up please

2 YOUR KIDDIN RIGHT? WHERE THEY AT?! BEHIND ME?! WHERE?!!

3 NO GRAMMA NO! swear I wouldn't, now help me up - can't you see that crazy-ass monkey -n- big cripple cat?

4 only foul launguage is coming to mind - and depends if $11 satisfies monkey cat duo enough to leave me alone

5 Not much really since I'm stuck down here and nobody helped me off this @#-%& ground.... ya - @#%*& r's

Aquaman, even for being optimistic thats to far. I recon that they even will pay you a little less than you need.

1. 60

2. Neither, Id fight both...at the same time...with one hand tied to my back and blindfolded.

3. Definitely

4. As many as I need to, Indefinitely I would live off the land.

5.  Assuming it was an accident I would ask for a tissue. If not I would kick them off the website.  If that wasn't enough then I would subdue the individual until they cried "uncle", or until they just cried.

1. Over what period of time?

2. Which legs is the tiger missing? (Yes, this does make a huge difference)

3. Are you cheating on your taxes?

4. I speak the universal tongue of body language and the rest would depend on the currency exchange value of that particular country. I've lived most of my life on the ground and estimate that I will continue to do so for many years to come.

5. My personal life is personal for a reason.

 

Can I take BART to work? 

erik wrote:

sure. here are 5 key questions to consider:

how many pushups can you do in 60 seconds?what are you more afraid of: a chimpanzee with a knife, or a 2-legged tiger?if your grandmother were cheating on her taxes, would you report her?if asked to go undercover, how many languages can you speak like a native, and how many days could you survive on the ground with $11 in cash?what would you do if somebody spit in your face (assuming none actually got inside your eyeball - if the spit touches your eyeball that is a separate question)?

---

 - Depends which way I'm pushing.

- The chimp.

- which one?

- 1

- Male or female?