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How do you deal with rude chat?


  • 3 years ago · Quote · #1

    the_Jabberwock

    I am new to this site, although I've played at various chess websites in the distant past.

    I prefer not to disable chat during Live chess because I am a friendly person by nature and I prefer to say "hello" and "gg", etc. to my opponents. I think that chess is not much of a social activity as it is and I like to be friendly with others when I play.

    I recently played a Live rated game on this site. My opponent and I initially exchanged greetings. A little ways into the game I took some time (probably about a minute) to make a move. My opponent jumped in on the chat:

    "pls move"

    "you're taking too long"

    "if you don't move I'm going to leave"

    Keep in mind this is a STANDARD 20 10 game - and I just took 60 seconds to make a move! Rather annoyed, I ended up making a dubious move and then told him that he was being rude and that I could use as much of my time allotment during my turn as I wished and that he shouldn't have agreed to the time limit in question if he was in a hurry. I told him he should have just played a blitz or bullet game if he was rushed and that he was distracting my thought process and only delaying my move further.

    He then somewhat apologized:

    "sorry if you think I was being rude"

    So then the game continues and a handful of moves later I am taking a minute or so on a move and he chimes in again:

    "it is easy, that was a mistake"

    "pls move"

    "can you do me a favor"

    "you are taking too long"

    I proceeded to make my move which was a total blunder that hung a piece! Once he snagged the piece, I was so infuriated with him for being such an ass AND at myself for allowing such a douche to get the best of me, that I just walked away from the game and let it time out.

    Now, I know that intentionally letting a game time out is bad etiquette and it is honestly something I have never done before. But I am human after all and I was so enraged that I just walked away from my computer and I don't feel bad about it in this situation.

    To summarize:

    Q. Did I deserve to lose the game?

    A. Absolutely! There is no luck in chess and no excuses to be made. I let my opponent get the best of me with his innapropriate banter! I had a couple options at my disposal, to focus better at just ignoring his chatter OR my best option: to simply disable the chat for the game once he started harrassing me. I chose not to do this out of an attempt to not be anti-social and I burned myself in the process.

    Now I will certainly never play another game of chess with this guy, but I would like to learn something from this experience and thus I pose this question:

    - What is your approach to the chat box with internet chess?

    1) Always keep chat disabled and allow for no social interaction.

    2) Allow chat but instantly disable it as soon as opponent says something inappropriate.

    3) Never disable chat and just ignore rude behavior or laugh at opponent when he's out of line and inform him that he's being a douche.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #2

    Shivsky

    -disable the minute something comes off as strange/weird or rude.
    - block if he tries to communicate with you (message) even after.
    - disable as a general rule and you'll never have this problem. 

    Not sure if this is true for everybody, but I've rarely seen value in chatting during the game unless it's a friend/somebody I know.  Being a jerk is easy when they're online, so why bother opening the door for them?

    If you're confident that you can engage in witty banter, than you really must know that he's prolly been a d-bag a whole lot longer than you and THEREFORE had tons of practice.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #3

    Dragec

    I would say 2. But keep in mind that friendly chat could also be disturbing, I remember once I blundered because my opponent just kept asking some questions, and I talked back to him instead of paying attention to the chess board.
  • 3 years ago · Quote · #4

    smotheredmate1

    Wow! You've really become involved here. 

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #5

    ivandh

    I do #3, but usually I am so focussed on the board that I don't notice chatting.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #6

    philidor_position

    Disable chat, block the person, ignore, enjoy the chess. Smile

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #7

    dannyhume

    4) "No, arse-hole"

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #8

    the_Jabberwock

    Ok guys, thanks for the replies. Nice to know how others feel and deal with such situations.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #9

    Knecht55

    Looks like some people spend waaaay too much time on this site and become oversensitive about things that really don't matter all that much.

    5) Take a break and go play soccer

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #10

    the_Jabberwock

    Knecht55 wrote:

    Looks like some people spend waaaay too much time on this site and become oversensitive about things that really don't matter all that much.

    5) Take a break and go play soccer


    I don't spend way too much time on this site. I don't spend very much time at all really. You know nothing about me so why don't you go play soccer yourself rather than wasting time by posting something that in no way benefits anyone.

    What my opponent did was rude and imature. I don't spend a lot of time in chess circles so I wanted to know what other chess regular's opinions were of such behavior and how they dealt with it when it was encountered. To me, that is worth taking a minute to make a post and not a waste of time.

    If you don't like it, move on to the next post and don't waste anyone's time with a worthless, A-hole post like the one you made.

    Or did you chime in here because my original post was criticizing something that you like to do?

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #11

    GorillaCookies

    Take insecure idiots remarks like that as therapy.  You can always look back a it and say at least im not that guy/gal.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #12

    ivandh

    i_luv_bOObs wrote:
    Knecht55 wrote:

    Looks like some people spend waaaay too much time on this site and become oversensitive about things that really don't matter all that much.

    5) Take a break and go play soccer


    I don't spend way too much time on this site. I don't spend very much time at all really. You know nothing about me so why don't you go play soccer yourself rather than wasting time by posting something that in no way benefits anyone.

    What my opponent did was rude and imature. I don't spend a lot of time in chess circles so I wanted to know what other chess regular's opinions were of such behavior and how they dealt with it when it was encountered. To me, that is worth taking a minute to make a post and not a waste of time.

    If you don't like it, move on to the next post and don't waste anyone's time with a worthless, A-hole post like the one you made.

    Or did you chime in here because my original post was criticizing something that you like to do?


    Guy was just telling you to take it easy and you call him a worthless a-hole...

    You've written two rather long and emotional posts in response to 1. a guy who is impatient and 2. a guy who is telling you to relax. Maybe you really should take a break for a while.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #13

    beardogjones

    I like it when my opponent acts rude - it gives me more insight

    into his/her psychology.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #14

    PrawnEatsPrawn

    padman wrote:

    I think you've pretty much worked out the answer for yourself. Be open to communication but be ready to shut it down if your opponent is just going to try to rile you and put you off centre. Maybe next time just be a man and resign instead of spitefully letting your clock run down. A low blow for a low blow leaves the whole world doubled over.

    If anyone wants me I'll be in my hammock.


     

    Frickin' hippy.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #15

    fishysavenger

    Have have log 500+ games and never had anyone rude. Just ingore him and move on.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #16

    Shenandoah

    Step 1. Finish the game.

    Step 2. Put them on your blocked list.

    * Give aggravation, don't receive it.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #17

    ivandh

    Made out of hemp, of course.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #18

    PrawnEatsPrawn

    padman wrote:
    PrawnEatsPrawn wrote:
    padman wrote:

    If anyone wants me I'll be in my hammock.

    Frickin' hippy.


    You're getting a hammock for Christmas this year by the way.


     

    I already have one, tie-dyed and stinking of 'erb.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #19

    infinex

    My strategy is to play my hardest once they say something rude because the negative sign in front of their rating at the end of the game is enough for me.

  • 3 years ago · Quote · #20

    erik


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