Half move mates

Oh, fine...

That's the correct solution. And the purpose of all the black pieces is to prevent the option of retracting f5xg6.

Oh, I see. f5xg6 would have been tricky to find because even though I'm breaking convention and leaving the enemy K in check with a retracted move, the convention is so engrained in my mind that I didn't even think about trying f5xg6.

1. Place the pawn on h8.

2. Remove the pawn from the board.

3. Don't promote it, hence only 2/3 of a move. Double stalemate.

Yep. :)

This is an old one.

2 solutions.

1) Finish castling

2) Lift the wK in the air.

Edit: hmm, but not sure 1) is valid because that would be 'white already playing' instead of 'white to play'. :P