Nice one AndrewB!

Congratulations indeed. Short and sweet.

I suggest "Nigel's mate".

Here's one of the shortest mates that can happen in actual games.

(I like to play the Italian Opening, so I've actually done this 3 times before in real games.)

There's a two move checkmate which calls the Fool's mate.

1.f3 d6 2.g4 Qh4#

Dearest nyLsel. 

Before answering a post like this, I recommend

1. reading at least some of the previous posts which might have indicated that this is not the solution to the riddle.

2. Even when giving a wrong solution, it is preferable to at least offer a legal notation. 

Sorry for trolling you. 

Two words: Pythagorean Theorem.

Got ya.

dum de dum dumb