2. my nickname is King Patzer
1000 reasons you're not a grandmaster
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3. I have 2 IM norms but decided to retire yesterday for no particular reason
4.i am dead
5. I ate a hot dog...
It did nothing...
6. I forgot how to play chess
7. I couldn't calculate and plays by pure intuition.
8. My rating is below 4 digits
12. Me cant no how to spel or speke or counte
10. Chess is boring because it's a forced win for white after 4 moves.
It's true!
11.No. It's boring because it's a win in 2 moves.
12. I was coached by the Backyard Professor.
I didn't get master coaching when I was 3 y.o.
14. I got Magnus Carlson to teach me when I was 3 y.o.
Too bad he was an imposter.
Imposter: Magnus Carlson
Real : Magnus Carlsen
15. I'm friends with spikestars
16. I accidentaly invited RookDaleks into the BishopTARDIS.
They blew my chess set up.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
17. My opponent always "eats" my queen and my "castles" and my "horsies" and my "pointy things" and I can't "kill" him back.
18. I thought that only my king can move backwards.
19. I thought that the middle of the board is hollow and you can only have one piece and how the pieces move is determined by two dice and that you can buy squares and when you land on a purchased square you pay money.
It will take literally forever but lets do this!
1. I have no talent