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Does marriage cause depression?

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #61

    HessianWarrior

    electricpawn wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    Timotheous wrote:
    Marriage causes depression as food causes indigestion or as paint causes your house to be orange. It depends on the details.

     It also depends on the character of people in that equation and how the solution is dealt with.  But still you are saying marriage causes depression? 

     I think marriage causes anxiety. Not knowing what you are going to wake up to every day.

     You are talking about not knowing your mate well enough and that is what is causing the uneasyness?

     Even though you know her about everyday stuff, when you wake up in the morning and she says "I saw you looking at that woman with the big boobs last night at the bar, what were you thinking about pervert? " You think you know them but they come up with all kinds of crap to try and trip you up.

     Good point but I try not to look when she is near, friends try to make me look but I try not to, advoiding that situation.

    Women look too!

     Yeah but that is Okay for them ElectricPawn.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #62

    electricpawn

    A good relationship with a woman can be the greatest thing in your life. When a relationship goes wrong, it can be a misery. A lot of shit happens in this world, and I don't have much advice.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #63

    yusuf_prasojo

    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    She doesn't pissed me off, our disagreements are, for the most part, where should we go, nothing major.  And she has never tried to change me.  She has made suggestions, like cut down on the wine but she enjoys it also so a win there.  I will need to think further on your suggestions.

     Okay that's my point. After you are married you will badgered to quit drinking all together if you really love her, but she can have hers because it doesn't really affect her.

     The most she will ever do is try to make me slow down, but I am set in my ways and since she is from Italy her daily consumption is also boarderline high/moderate.  No change is needed.

    It is good if you know her expectations. Of course she doesn't have to say it. But if the wine is in the top list, I think it shouldn't be a problem because it is logical and you know that there is a common sense there, as long as she understands that it takes process to reduce/stop it.

    Marriage will be a LOT different if there were kids in the family. This creates stronger commitment from both husband and wife. If she doesn't feel ready to have a kid, then probably she has not ready yet for deeper commitment, or she doesn't fully trust you.

    After having kids, it is almost impossible to think about running away from marriage commitments. Family (with kids) will make marriage becomes "positive". Being in love (with your wife) is nice isn't it? But anger, hate may change that a bit. But being in love with your own kids is often stronger and immortal.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #64

    electricpawn

    HessianWarrior wrote:
    electricpawn wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    Timotheous wrote:
    Marriage causes depression as food causes indigestion or as paint causes your house to be orange. It depends on the details.

     It also depends on the character of people in that equation and how the solution is dealt with.  But still you are saying marriage causes depression? 

     I think marriage causes anxiety. Not knowing what you are going to wake up to every day.

     You are talking about not knowing your mate well enough and that is what is causing the uneasyness?

     Even though you know her about everyday stuff, when you wake up in the morning and she says "I saw you looking at that woman with the big boobs last night at the bar, what were you thinking about pervert? " You think you know them but they come up with all kinds of crap to try and trip you up.

     Good point but I try not to look when she is near, friends try to make me look but I try not to, advoiding that situation.

    Women look too!

     Yeah but that is Okay for them ElectricPawn.

    Yeah, but women look too!

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #65

    HessianWarrior

    electricpawn wrote:

    A good relationship with a woman can be the greatest thing in your life. When a relationship goes wrong, it can be a misery. A lot of shit happens in this world, and I don't have much advice.

     Some guys find the right one and other guys struggle for a lifetime.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #66

    winerkleiner

    corrijean wrote:

    No fear, I'm sure he'll be banned soon since Krishnah64 is a re-tread, i.e., previously banned troll.

     Sounds fine with me, thanks.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #67

    winerkleiner

    HessianWarrior wrote:

    Who does the laundry?

     She does now (I'm old fashion) but I will help.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #68

    winerkleiner

    electricpawn wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    Timotheous wrote:
    Marriage causes depression as food causes indigestion or as paint causes your house to be orange. It depends on the details.

     It also depends on the character of people in that equation and how the solution is dealt with.  But still you are saying marriage causes depression? 

     I think marriage causes anxiety. Not knowing what you are going to wake up to every day.

     You are talking about not knowing your mate well enough and that is what is causing the uneasyness?

     Even though you know her about everyday stuff, when you wake up in the morning and she says "I saw you looking at that woman with the big boobs last night at the bar, what were you thinking about pervert? " You think you know them but they come up with all kinds of crap to try and trip you up.

     Good point but I try not to look when she is near, friends try to make me look but I try not to, advoiding that situation.

    Women look too!

     Yeah but... not much in front of me...that could change although.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #69

    winerkleiner

    electricpawn wrote:

    A good relationship with a woman can be the greatest thing in your life. When a relationship goes wrong, it can be a misery. A lot of shit happens in this world, and I don't have much advice.

     Shit does happen, you're right.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #70

    winerkleiner

    yusuf_prasojo wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    HessianWarrior wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:
    She doesn't pissed me off, our disagreements are, for the most part, where should we go, nothing major.  And she has never tried to change me.  She has made suggestions, like cut down on the wine but she enjoys it also so a win there.  I will need to think further on your suggestions.

     Okay that's my point. After you are married you will badgered to quit drinking all together if you really love her, but she can have hers because it doesn't really affect her.

     The most she will ever do is try to make me slow down, but I am set in my ways and since she is from Italy her daily consumption is also boarderline high/moderate.  No change is needed.

    It is good if you know her expectations. Of course she doesn't have to say it. But if the wine is in the top list, I think it shouldn't be a problem because it is logical and you know that there is a common sense there, as long as she understands that it takes process to reduce/stop it.

    Marriage will be a LOT different if there were kids in the family. This creates stronger commitment from both husband and wife. If she doesn't feel ready to have a kid, then probably she has not ready yet for deeper commitment, or she doesn't fully trust you.

    After having kids, it is almost impossible to think about running away from marriage commitments. Family (with kids) will make marriage becomes "positive". Being in love (with your wife) is nice isn't it? But anger, hate may change that a bit. But being in love with your own kids is often stronger and immortal.

     Very very well said.  After my first kid, and only one, I didn't think I wanted or needed another so I had a snip procedure done.  And she is ok with that.  At least I hope, that might change. 

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #71

    electricpawn

    HessianWarrior wrote:
    electricpawn wrote:

    A good relationship with a woman can be the greatest thing in your life. When a relationship goes wrong, it can be a misery. A lot of shit happens in this world, and I don't have much advice.

     Some guys find the right one and other guys struggle for a lifetime.

    +1

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #72

    HessianWarrior

    My advice Wiener is, after my 3 marriages think about it with your head, not with your heart, and above all not with what's between your legs.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #73

    corrijean

    Very good advice.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #74

    surfer277

    many women expect you to be helpful, you know.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #75

    kco

    good communcation is required, lack of it might cause the depression. 

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #76

    HessianWarrior

    surfer277 wrote:

    many women expect you to be helpful, you know.

     Oh yeah they do, and then when you are helpful they go around and change everything you just did and tell you that she should have done it herself, it kind of makes you feel like a Turd.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #77

    Joseph-S

    winerkleiner wrote:

    After my first kid, and only one, I didn't think I wanted or needed another so I had a snip procedure done.  And she is ok with that.  At least I hope, that might change. 

       *Uh oh!*

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #78

    kco

    Joseph-S wrote:
    winerkleiner wrote:

    After my first kid, and only one, I didn't think I wanted or needed another so I had a snip procedure done.  And she is ok with that.  At least I hope, that might change. 

       *Uh oh!*

     Agreed.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #79

    HessianWarrior

    kco wrote:

    good communcation is required, lack of it might cause the depression. 

     No, to much communication with the women is the source of untold misery and hair pulling.

  • 21 months ago · Quote · #80

    corrijean

    I have an acquaintance who gave her boyfriend a proposal ultimatum. He did propose and they are getting married next summer. She still isn't happy though. In fact, she's quite bitter. Don't see how marriage would make a situation like hers better.

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