See last line for the interesting part =P

I recently played in the US Eastern Team Championship tournament on board 3 and didn't win a single game. This is probably due to a combination of many factors--unusual food for my diet, lack of sleep during the tournament and prior sleep deprivation from being a college student, new location (never been to Stamford, let alone Connecticut), first time playing on a team that wasn't scholastic, and preoccupation with school (studying physics, first year student) among the possible reasons. These losses are unusual, because I was winning every game but perhaps the one in which I used an opening for the first time--although when I continued using it I improved during the tournament--, even against players rated 400 points higher than me. But probably the biggest two reasons for my failure are these: my confidence was down because of pressure not to play chess anymore in favor of school, and I hadn't played in a tournament in six months not including a small time one in which I became dreadfully ill and could hardly play.

I thought a lot about this failure. I've never done poorly in a tournament before. In fact, including  converted cost of merchandise, I have broken even or even with a slight plus on costs of going to tournaments; my winnings completely outweighed my costs of travel and entry and not going to work over the course of my four-year chess career (almost two years if you count it from when I first played in a tournament). So, this is a very bad shock for me. How can I do so poorly, and with all the hard work I've done? I play correspondence online regularly, although I have cut down my games a lot to accommodate the demands of my studies and new job, and I read all the articles on chess I can, and I study similar games whenever I stumble across a question in my own games. I came to the conclusions that 1) I am getting rusty from lack of tournament play, and 2) I need to reevaluate where chess is taking me. This is my evaluation: chess is very important because it is practically my sole entertainment--I don't even watch television--and because it is a positive extracurricular activity which can actually help me get into graduate school. I also like to think that I have talent for it, since I've gotten pretty far in only four years and I have always had an affinity for strategy. School is also very important: I need to be successful in order to have enough money to push my personal agenda and be able to play chess regularly. I have to take both school and chess seriously now.

I am in the process of rescheduling my life to go all in with working on physics and chess. This means time cut out of sleeping, and running rather than strolling places, and eating and showering quickly so that I have the time to dole out the harshness on my homework and study material and then get to chess. But since I'm sure most of any reader's interest would be on how I'm doing this with chess, I'll fill you in: even if I can't be a chess professional I can treat chess professionally. From now on I'm cutting out even more on my slow correspondence games--playing games that take months to complete is not an efficient way to improve! This new live chess tournament feature is going to be where it's at. I plan to play in a tournament every week, setting them up on a board and treating it like a serious match, and when they are finished I will analyze all of those games deeply. I plan to use a tactics trainer for a specific amount of time at certain times of the week, to stay on schedule and not slip with my chess, since regularity will be key. This is the basic gyst of it, although I have other ideas.

There is one thing which I don't know what to do about: actually getting to play live opponents on my level. It's hard to find opponents at Rutgers New Brunswick, surprisingly. I need someone preferably around 1900 or 2000 level give or take a hundred points who is in the New Brunswick area to meet with and play live!

I like this, but a long, warm shower goes a long way. So does sleep, for memory, learning, and emotional health reasons. There are other ways to find time to improve other than cutting back on rest and hygeine. I know you'll figure it out. It's all about getting that mojo back.

Are you kidding?

Yeah, I'm kidding! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha no.

Then you're taking this way way way too seriously

Yeah, I probably am. But that's okay, I'm serious about chess. I can't stand settling for a low level of play, so at the very least I want to find a level at which I can say to myself 'okay, this is enough' and be content.

As a recent graduate of a physics program, my 2 cents worth is the following:

You're going to have a lot of pressure put on you from school alone. Physics programs are good at pushing you relentlessly (especially if you're planning on grad school). Probably a good thing, but it's very taxing.  To add to that all the pressure it looks like you're putting on yourself over chess is an awful lot of stress to carry.

My advice would be to focus on school first, and continue playing chess to the point that it is an entertaining diversion & a stress reliever rather than another contributor to your stress levels. 

After all, you can always pursue ever higher rankings in the summers (assuming you aren't already doing summer research programs) or after graduation. Life's a marathon not a sprint. :) Chess isn't going anywhere. lol

Best of luck with physics ... and chess! Both are awesome.

That is very useful advice and information, thank you.