13580 Players currently online!
Man vs. Machine - good luck!
Turn-based games at any time!
Vote for the best move to win!
Do you have what it takes?
Sharpen your tactical vision!
Get advice and game insights!
Learn from top players & pros!
View millions of master games!
Your virtual chess coach!
Perfect your opening moves!
Test your skills vs. computer!
Find the right private coach!
Can you solve it each day?
Bring it all together!
Beginners, start here!
Make friends & play team games!
News from the world of chess!
Search all Chess.com members!
Find local clubs & events!
Who's the best of your friends?
Read what members are saying!
When ill dieThe sea wont forget meThe moon will remind a fewNot to forget me for some timeBut im sureThe sea wont forget me
Is this shit?
Tell me the true.
when you write poetry, my friend, it has to have 'movement' as in rhyme and 'expression' was in similies and metephores, and always try and and take it where you want, in this case, a profound meaning or edge- ill try and explain...
should i die, and im set free
i pray the sea so green won't forget me
then the moon so blue, and the love from you
will remind the few of the deeds we do
when i die and im set free
let me hide beneath the sea
and not forgotten once in time
the love i held that first was mine
if i die and im set free
let me feel a part of thee
close together we will see
that the sea wont forget me
so here, i used your poem as a theme, notice how i kept returning to the theme, and manipulated it to drive the profound idea. also rhyming couplets give the sense of movement!
when you write poetry- say it back to yourself all the time and choose the words 'deliberately'
your poem was what id call a 'good idea' or a 'work in progress' when you write try to expand on the theme as i did in the example i wrote for you. the more you do it the easier it will come-
i wouldnt say that your poem was 'shit' it is very expressive, truely, next time, think of where you words are taking you, and then expand on that theme- dont be afraid to experiment with words and try to return to the theme this will give your work focus-
keep up the good work joao my friend
wow, you did real poetry !!!!!!!
thank you very much for all your suggestions.
ill try to do better, much better
Keep it up my friend. and to redfern-p... Well done!
Laughter is the best medicine
by btickler a few minutes ago
If Fischer would played Karpov for the World Champion, who would win?
by trotters64 3 minutes ago
Looking for Tournament Chess Set (Portable)
by Manning7 5 minutes ago
chess in prisons - where I am headed
by Berkmaster 15 minutes ago
Sharpen your tactics here
by Ronald_Aprianto 15 minutes ago
Is There An Unwritten Rule Against Using A Thesaurus?
by bigpoison 15 minutes ago
Openings for beginners - which to start off with?
by I_Am_Second 15 minutes ago
7/10/2014 - All About Piece Positioning
by chessdragonboge 19 minutes ago
by makky 24 minutes ago
Enforcing Tournament Conditions
by johnyoudell 25 minutes ago
Why Join | Chess Topics |
Help & Support |
© 2014 Chess.com
• Chess - English
We are working hard to make Chess.com available in over 70 languages. Check back over the year as we develop the technology to add more, and we will try our best to notify you when your language is ready for translating!