The toilet is the key to chess mastery.

I think most people read chess books more often in the bathroom and when going to bed than at any other time, but at least they don't fall asleep in the bathroom. The more one goes to the bathroom, the more of an advantage they could have in chess. This is unfair.

Therefore, we need chess superstars to be tested for laxatives before playing.

I was thinking the same thing the other day, when sitting on the toilet I was thumbing through 303 tricky chess tactics. Having long drawn out bathroom breaks can be a real asset to one's chess improvement. So what could be considered a drawback in one aspect of life can be positive towards another.

since you're into zen philosophy it seems, you might like to know something I picked up from eastern culture (and some north woods hippies who followed him):

The only Qi Gong sufi/master I have ever met wanted the anti-toilet message to be spread, or he sought, rather, to inform western culture of its dangers. He said that the "chair" position of the toilet is not a natural one--one that a human would use when, say, out in the woods for a week. He said this knowledge, more than any, would improve the health of the west due to the large internal stress this practice puts on those who only use western toilets. I learned that even meditation techniques and medicine cannot solve health problems as effectively as proper posture and self care can prevent them.

The reason is that your intestines colon etc ("plumbing") is bent while sitting, while again, hanging off a tree in the woods would never produce that effect :)

the toilet keeping cure? a stool in front of your toilet -- both feet raised one foot at least.

I was thinking this was a joke topic....but it wasn't.

I see many players in tournamnets, in between rounds going to the bathroom to calm themselves down and such.

Its probably because the bathrooms have peace and quiet.

Interesting spiel on the toilet posture. I have often noticed that it can feel a bit uncomfortable with a heavy bowel to be seated upright. The stool (the chair) that you suggest be put in front; would one extend their feet out straight or bend them so the knees are higher than the hips? How would this help in unkinking the colon?

knees high according to the sufi.

a perfect place to set your chess literature!

and to the other commenter-- he is correct, it was originally a joke topic :) now it's serious.

Maybe if you spike their drink with laxitives, then they would play chess better... Great, now I want to try it....

Usually a bad move will make me gotta go... and make another bad move

I think with a laxative, you might have more immediate problems to worry about other than chess, like if there's enough toliet paper, and whats the max load the toilet can withstand. I'd stick with eating a lot of fiber.

i just crapped my pants

This topic should be eliminated

are you suggesting it be flushed from the topic...pool?

Forget the chess books, in the loo!   Think wireless internet and laptop!  

How do you know that?? Who told you? Now I will never be able to concentrate again.

In the bathroom now:

John Watson's Secrets of Modern Chess Strategy

Dvoretsky's Secrets of Chess Tactics

Us Health Dept's Secrets of Modern Septic Efficiency

I dont' understand guys who sit on the toilet reading.  I'm in and out of there.  Shit and get off the pan. 

Well no body raises a family in there, they do the same but just read during the process.

 It's the time I'm getting at.  Seems to take some guys way too long.  The entire process takes me less than 3 minutes.  Just end up with pins and needles sitting on the throne too long. 

3 minutes of reading a chess book if you keep one there :)

 There's nothing like that in my bathroom.  I'd rather read it on the couch.