Deep breaths, BBBB ....... that's it .......you're feeling calmer with each breath ....... slow down on the exhale ..... your lungs will automatically fill with air when they're ready ..... no need to speed up your oxygen intake ..... keep repeating:  "Trophies can't hurt me," "Trophies are't going to hurt me---they don't even care about me"..... .....That's it......good ... ....and don't worry, there's no charge for my help to a fellow chessplayer .. .....

I like to send queen trophies when opponent has hanged his queen.OP has probably received such trophies

Dear Motherinlaw

If trophies are as innocuous as you claim - then why insist on sending them to people who do not want them. Keep them yourself if you like them. As a matter of fact, this issue is enough to get me to leave this site. You think it's nothing, I disagree. It's aggravating and annoying. The choice should be mine NOT yours or anyone elses. I'm not suggesting people should stop sending / receiving trophies. I'm simply suggesting that if people have no need of receiving trophies, they should be able to opt out. Challenges can't hurt either, but people have choices regarding challenges. Why shouldn't trophies be on the same plane. And go take your condescending psycho-babble elsewhere - I don't appreciate it.

BBBB

BBBB - I agree with you on trophies, they are fine for those who like them but I don't want to receive them, one reason being that some senders get mad if I don't send them a thankyou for sending me a trophy. How ridiculious.

But as for Motherinlaw, please do not be so sharp with her. she is a very nice person who is just trying to inject some humor.  There is no call for anger and I think an apology is in order.  She meant no harm.  Sorry Motherinlaw

OK - I can accept the difference of opinion, but she needs to be polite on her end. I accept that she is a nice person and I won't be harsh if she loses the acerbic rhetoric. Let's have a conversation about the merits of this without the nastiness and personal attacks.

BBBB