I've just joined the team match

86% of the Smiling Assassins turned up for a team match. Impressive dedication.

Fighting off ninjas. Easy.

#1. Avoid Ninjas in the first place. Ask yourself - why have Ninjas chosen your company? Did you do something to offend a powerful warlord? Answer this question and you'll be ready for next time.

#2. Use your phone (to call for help). Ninjas are tough, and no-one will judge if you call for help. Reinforecements from branch offices, even the warehouse crew, can make the difference when Ninjas attack.

#3. Use office plants as weapons. Those dusty-looking palms around your office may look harmless, but they make formidable weapons. Use the fronds as pokers; aim for the Ninja's sensitive spots. Cacti are useful for the Ninja-besieged enterprise. Throw them, pot and all, like grenades.

#4. Use your whiteboard as a shield. Ninjas love throwing stars, known as shuriken. They are sharp, and pointy, and when thrown they stick in deep and hurt a lot. Grab the nearest whiteboard and use it as a shield. Yes, it'll ruin the whiteboard but you can explain later.

#5. Find a weapon, any weapon. Ninjas are deadly. In an office setting, however, their Ninja skills are at a disadvantage. Use what's at hand to take them by surprise. Hot coffee flung at a Ninja will get his attention. Or simply dump your wastebasket on his head - both disabling and humiliating.

aw man! I missed it!