Got some jokes here to tell you people.

In a park people come across a man playing chess against a dog. They are astonished and say:"What a clever dog!" But the man protests: "No, no, he isn't that clever. I'm leading by three games to one!"

no no the dog isnt clever at all, Ive beatrn him 4 games running, but tha squirel over by theelm neither of us has beaten in a week of coming here

It is funny, but it does not mean that the squirel is smart it just mean you are not smart. (no offence)

FDgod

Rush Limbaugh and his chauffeur were out driving in the country and accidentally hit and killed a pig that had wandered out on a country road.

Limbaugh told the chauffeur to drive up to the farm and apologize to the farmer. They drove up to the farm, the chauffeur got out and knocked on the front door and was let in. He was in there for what seemed hours. When he came out, Limbaugh was confused about why his employee had been there so long.

"Well, first the farmer shook my hand, then he offered me a beer, then his wife brought me some cookies, and his daughter showered me with kisses," explained the driver.

"What did you tell the farmer?" Limbaugh asked.

The chauffeur replied, "I told him that I was Rush Limbaugh's driver and I'd just killed the pig.

I like that last one

What do you call a horse who has nothing to do? A neigh-bore!

Homaru, u in this group???!

 Its funny beacause how do dogs even get 1 pint? lol

two blonds are frantically trying break into their car. one says to the other, " i sure wish we wouldn't have locked our keys in the car!" the other one replies, " yeah, we better hurry because it's about to rain and we left the top down!"

a blonde totals her car. as she pulls herself from the wreckage (in which she doesn't have a scratch) a cop pulls up. he asks how she could get in a one car accident like that. she replies, "well, i was driving and suddenly a tree comes right in front of me. so i swerve right and another tree comes in front, then i swerve left, then another tree, then i swerve right and another tree...". the cop stops her and say, "ma'am, there isn't a tree for 30 miles from here. what you saw was your air freshener!"

hahaha