• Member Since: Sep 28, 2009
• Last Login: Aug 19, 2011
• Profile Views: 423
• Points: 26
• Birthday: Aug 13, 1974
• Occupation: Bogan, Future Grandmaster

You may not have heard of me, but I'm kind of a big deal in Melbourne, Australia. In fifteen years as left forward pocket for the Diamond Creek Seconds, I scored over forty-five goals and led my team to three Outer Northern Division premierships. At the height of my football career, I had it all: fame, babes, cars, yachts, you name it. But I wasn't happy. There was something missing in my life, something that all the wealth and notoriety in the world couldn't give me. Then, on the eve of the 2003 Outer Northern grand final against our arch-rivals Watsonia, I quit footy for good. For the first time in my life, I knew what I wanted. I wanted to be Australia's first-ever chess world champion. When I announced my intention to pursue professional chess as a career, the Australian public was incredulous. The press were particularly cruel, claiming that while my "football brain" was second to none, my all-round cerebral acuity was "frankly risible". But I've come a long way since the dark days of 2003. At last year's Woolloomoloo Masters I received the Good Sportsmanship Award in the 1000-1200 division. More importantly, I'm truly happy for the first time in my life. Sure, I've had to sell the yachts and the blondes seem to have melted away, but you know what, kids? You don't need boats and hos to be happy. Only chess can make you happy. Thanks for caring and Caissa bless you all.