Grandmaster's Unacceptable Blitz Play Inflames Hamburgers
Recent rioting in Hamburg Germany may be more than a protest of the ongoing G20 meeting. Reports are coming in that Germans are becoming increasingly disturbed by the declining chess abilities of GM Jan Gustafsson, claiming his recent concessions make Germany "appear weak on the international stage".
As Jan dipped below the 3000 rating mark during an online blitz session this morning, locals reached a boiling point resulting in anarchy and mayhem. Details are sketchy but there are reports that GM Lawrence Trent's hoop-dee was char-broiled along with some other cars in the Hamburg slum where he resides.
Trent's automobile pictured here on the day he proudly purchased it.
Gustafsson has been unable to go anywhere near a sharp or open position for most of his classical playing career, but due to his deteriorating mental faculties for calculation, it has lately been affecting his blitz play. But there is more: "He simply doesn't care! " claim frustrated and berserk Hamburgers, clawing their faces as Jan absentmindedly hangs his rook in a winning position with plent of time on the clock. There's is even talk of revoking his GM title.
"If he gets into another technically won endgame, and he fails to convert the full point, We feel he should submit his resignation." say protesters.
But Gustaffson, who already has a penchant for complaining and excuse-making, will certainly chafe at the idea of being handicapped by this draw odds proposal.