My Checkered Paths

My Checkered Paths

Sep 25, 2016, 9:01 AM |

Squaring off against some of the nicest people on earth.

Trying to make my piece with the enemy.

A war of pawns can lead to a strong piece.

I'm floating on piece filled waters and drinking from babbling rooks.

Here I can prey with a bishop or play like the big bad knight devouring little red riding rook. 

I've had hard dazed knights, 

and knights to remember.

I've witnessed a knight's pieceful 

easy stealing come over pawns.

Kings stuck between a rook and a hard place. 

I've watched kings die over knight in rook slides.

Some king's have nervous breakdowns

and just fall to pieces.

It's always mating season here 

and the king hates it because he's impotent.

He can get in position to mate,but he can't do it.

Someone else is always moving in to do it for him.

The closest thing the king has to an air attack right now is 

a knight on a horse. 

He should have built a few catapolts into his game.

I'm still ironing out the kings about this 

They're close to being on board with the plan.

It's rQQking good

I'm always striving to get better at this game. 

I recently started working out in hopes 

of strengthening my chess muscles.

Today I woke up with the urge to work out,

so I went back to sleep until the urge went away :)

Dreaming about a piece filled world.

~~ The Unbridled One




Have you tried the patch for your chess addiction? 

It weens you off chess in less than 7 days.

With the patch you will slowly absorb the pawns on the first day. 

They tingle and tickle. It's a really cool nice feeling 

even while still playing chess. 

On the second day you'll feel almost a bit stoned by the patch 

as the rook is being absorbed brick by brick into your body. 

No chess today. No thinking today.  

You'll get the munchies so have plenty of stuff in the fridg. 

You'll be swearing to God you'll go on a diet tomorrow.   

On the third day of the patch you'll absorb the bishop .. 

This is a little more potent than the pawns or the rook 

and you may find yourself praying to God for forgiveness 

about how good the bishop felt.  

You even go to confession just so you're sure you were forgiven. 

On the forth day you're experiencing a tingling sensation 

and you're thinking its the pawns again, 

but its not, it's her, the queen, 

because she doesn't tickle, (only the pawns tickle), 

and once you realize it's her you're freaking out 

begging God for more forgiveness. 

It's back to confession. 

The priest is starting to wonder about you 

so you tell him about the patch. 

He smiles and rolls up his sleeve and shows you his patch 

and says the bishop Was pretty amazing, wasn't he ?  

You boogie right the hell out of there. 

Chess is so far from your mind right now. 

You wanna throw up. It's not the patch, it's the priest.  

It's day five now.  

On the fifth day of the patch the knight is gently working his way inside you 

(through your arm patch of course ;).   

At this point you're lovin the patch. 

No chess on your mind !  

You're experiencing the sensation of being mated by a knight. 

You're screaming OH MY GOD !  

You even make up a name for him just so you can scream it out loud.   

As fast as he came he is gone ;)  

No confessions this time !   

This day of the patch leaves you exhausted, 

your body and mind are spent and weak. . 

You can't fathom checkers let alone chess. 

You sleep like a baby tonight. 

He's so in your head. So in your heart. What a patch.

The sixth day of the patch is brutal though. 

He doesn't write, he doesn't call. lol 

Symptoms of the patch get very cruel. 

The patch is leaving you with a ringing in your ears 

and you keep trying to answer it hoping its him but it's not, 

it's the king! 

and you keep hanging up on him because he won't tell you where your knight is !  

Just tell you where your knight is and let the pieces fall where they may. Right?

By the way, This is why it's impossible for a king to mate. (wink wink true story) ..  

Tough day for the king but a good day for you. 

Chess withdrawals have been replaced by knight withdrawals :) 

Quite often the potency of the patch weakens by the seventh day 

but It's already done it's job. 

You don't give a hoot about chess, 

you wanna find your knight. 

They say if the patch still works by the seventh day 

it gives you knightvision...


Best of luck . Hope this helped :) 

~ The Unbridled One