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The Impact of Songs during super short Chess Games

The Impact of Songs during super short Chess Games

VanishingDragon
Oct 15, 2016, 10:33 AM 10

as many knows, a short blitz game or even bullet chess game can be exceptionally boring and not motivating without the complementation of songs. Today I will present to my dear audiences some songs that each achieve a different purpose during the game, which in theory should be mostly beneficial for you and causing your opponents to more likely lose the game. They are proven to be exceptionally effective otb, but unfortunately, chess.com is not an otb place but an online place, so experiment with the songs at your own risk grin.png.

 

1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=inEvh-I0buI cannot concentrate during a critical position? listen to this for a few seconds and all your focus will be back in one piece, unscathed and ready for deployment to pwn your opponent's sorry butt.

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aQ3Xs86Io00 Are you perhaps annoyed that your opponent is stuck in an undeniably lost position but just refuses to resign and just sits there, does nothing and let time trickle down? Fear not, mein towarisch, I present you this fearsome song that will pressure your opponent to resign in no time, maybe even if your opponent is not even losing.

3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7T-PzBtruQw&index=2&list=PLM0Fq4vU2flrWHl5v0zSuM5pdN2HjDIS6 Are you perhaps incredibly stressed out that you are playing a strong foe 400~1000 elo higher than you and your hands would not stop shaking on your maus? I present you this song to remind you that it is just 1 online game, the world will not end if you lose, and cheer up so you can win later.

4. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvzCmV3_12c Ever feeling like a jerk who wants to win by time forfeiture? Well my friend, I present you this unbelievably cute song with such a ridiculously slow pace that will make your opponents fall asleep in no time. now you have to do is wait for the window that says "you win -- game abandoned" to show up in a bit.

5. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YEJkQ9jVE8 Are you one of these people that progressively feel down after consecutively losing games after games after games? Well these sad days are over. With this mentally inspirational song, your morale during games will eternally stay high and mighty and help you stomp your way to top of the chess.com leaderboard within your lifetime. I mean look, you got 2 germans, 1 hungarian and a south african dressed up as mighty mongolian mercenary knights by your side to cheer you on each game...........

6. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvfMHKbHXLg Hey boys and girls, ever feeling like a bored office worker who just wants to spend the day throwing cherry stones at the boring employee across from you in the cube farm? well here you go, 3 whole minutes of cherry stone throwing to keep you mentally stimulated during your game. Hey, maybe you can play this song SOOOOOOOOOOOOO LOUD that nakamura will complain to you all the way across the continent in ITA to turn the song down a notch because he is afraid of losing the game tongue.png............

7. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IyJ39vqilnI This is a very lethal and double edged song. Please use responsibly and cautiously as its devastating sanity deprivation power may impact the user as well. Otherwise if properly deployed, your opponent shall lose sanity fairly quckly and either disconnect or wield a tomahawk axe across the room and smashing everything while completely forgetting he is still involved in a blitz game grin.png

8. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqQDU9_XnBw Also very dangerous, as actual death may occur if the victim is not mentally prepared to listen to this.

 

Scientific findings

 

bad news: This technique is single recessive, meaning it only works on people who have copies of the allele that codes for being weak willed. Strong willed players may be completely unfazed by this extrachessal tactic. However, currently life is being a complete cyka blyat, and nature is selecting against players who are strong willed. here is a data table below to prove my point.

 

The average fitness for all 3 traits is around 0.9 if you did your math right, and since the fitness value for the strong willed players is way below that of the average, it means very soon, this trait will be erased off of the gene pool and this tactic mentioned above will work 24/7/52, 100% failproof. 

 

So here you have it. Good luck and have fun with my secret way of rapidly advancing on the road to rating glory here. 

 

  Weaked willed moderately willed Strong Willed
% in overall population 49 42 9
fitness 1 0.95

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