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Classic Blitz Hokum

mjl4871
Jul 31, 2011, 2:00 PM 1

We all know that blitz, at best, only occasionally resembles actual chess. Especially on chess.com (due to lag issues, I suppose) it seems like it's all too easy to encounter a 1700+, 1800+, or even 1900+ player whose rating appear grossly inflated. The player I describe often plays a the same opening no matter his opponent's response and lingers on the board hoping to spot a well-known blunder or hang around for a time win. Losing to such a player is excruciating. Plrtzglrb, we cry, I know I should beat this patzer! How could I make such a stupid mistake? How could I use all my clock so early in the game? Why does chess.com randomly rob my clock of valuable seconds when I play between 5 and 7 p.m.?

Yes, losing to such a player hurts, but the inverse property keeps us playing. Mutilating a patzer by playing real chess against dogma is particularly delightful. I offer, for your consideration, an example of the phenomenon of which I speak:

 

Obviously, I have not analyzed variations in detail, and perhaps my commentary is too snarky. After all, maybe this player had a momentary lapse of reason, or maybe his or her account was hacked by a much weaker player. Or perhaps said player was merely toying with me, prodding to see what I would do. In my defense, I'll just say I get an honest thrill when I can score a mate against someone using frustrating techniques like automatic moves and clock burning. And just to illustrate my point more clearly, here's my opponent's next win (on time), against an opponent rated 1924.

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