How does it feel when someone blames you?
Usually, when someone blames you, you feel heavy, hurt or you become unhappy. You get hurt because you resist the blame. Outside you may not resist, but inside when you resist it hurts you. When someone blames you, you usually blame them back or put up a resistance inside yourself.
A blame takes away some negative karma from you. If you understand this and don’t put up a resistance and feel happy about it, then your karma goes away. Outside you may resist, but inside if you don’t resist, and feel happy, “Oh, good, somebody is there to blame me and take some negative karma,” you will feel immediately lighter. The way to deal with blame is through patience and faith. Faith that truth will always triumph and things will get better.
Whatever work you do, there will be someone to find fault. Keep working without losing your enthusiasm and spirit. A wise man by his very nature will keep doing good work. His attitude does not depend on someone’s praise or blame. To uplift your spirit and save your mind from blaming, you need to judge your company. Your company can pull you up or down. The company that drags you towards doubt, blame, complaints, anger, and desires is bad company. The company that pulls you up towards joy, enthusiasm, service, love, trust and is good. An ignorant person says, “Don’t blame me because it hurts me.” An enlightened one says “Don’t blame me because it might hurt you.” This is a beautiful point. Someone warns you not to blame them because it will hurt them and they will do s o m e t h i n g harmful to you out of revenge. On the other hand, an e n l i g h t e n e d one asks not to blame because of compassion. Demand and blame destroy relationships. So, you should know how to praise others and uplift a situation instead of blaming or finding fault. Uplifting the other should be your commitment. Then you are the right person for anybody. Everybody will love you when you don’t hurt them intentionally.
You are not here to blame or criticise. Criticism can come from two kinds of people. When they are narrow-minded, then they criticise out of their ignorance. Or they really want to bring something good in you. If their criticism is coming from a space of improving you, thank them for their compassion. You can improve since their criticism makes you realise your mistake. If it is coming from a space of putting you down, be compassionate and just laugh at them. In either case, you do not have to worry about criticism.
Nindak neare rakiya angan kuti shava,bin pani sabun bina nirmal kare suhay. The great Indian Saint Kabirdas has said that keep someone who criticizes you close by, that will keep your house, your mind clean — without the need of soap and water. If everybody around keeps praising you, they may not show you your shortcomings. The people who criticize are authentic since they are pouring out their heart. You need to be able to give and take constructive criticism. An educated person will neither shy away from criticism nor will he shun the critique. The measure of your maturity depends on how you handle criticism. Ability to take criticism is a measure of one’s inner strength.
originally shared by @arrahman Grammy and Academy Award winning musician