Cheesy the Bug’s Love Letter to Number One
You are both stupid and intelligent dear. Stupid because you don’t believe in the things that I believe in, and intelligent because I know you’ll see my point soon and be converted in my side. That would be the wisest decision you will ever make in your short lived life. From there onward, I will be able to accept you in my arms.
Cheesy, this is stupid!! How can you say this to make her hate you less than she already does!
Silence. I am thinking here. In deep concentration. Why do you have to bother me so? Go write your own letter. So anyway dear, I will expect that you would feel honored that you were able to capture my attention.
Yuck! The nerve, Cheesy!
Hahaha. Of course that’s not what I meant to say to her. How about this: You are intelligent just like that Aristotle Guy who once thought that the earth is flat, not at all spherical as proven by current scientific discoveries. Is that better? I've inserted some reasonable comparison there.
That’s not the way to talk to a woman!
Well, how would you have me talk to a lady bug? Do you prefer flattery? Should I say the moon shines in her eyes? That is impossible! The moon is 1/3 the size of the earth and how would you fit that in her eyes? Or that she’s the most beautiful bug in the universe? How would I know, I haven’t seen all the bugs in the universe. Is this “love” you humans so highly value based on pretense, flattery and outrageous lie? No wonder you end up in grave divorce. Am not impressed at all.
You are so matter of fact cheesy. As if everything can be put inside a box for you to scrutinize. When a person says that the one he love is the most beautiful woman, that means, for him, she might be just that. Not a lie at all. You don’t have to agree because beauty as is the case with other descriptive words can differ from one person to another. And besides, love can either be Eros, Agape, and the other two I forgot. So my point being, why are you so sarcastic?
Anyway to continue with my letter...
Will you ever listen to me?
Yah..Yah.. Dear, I think I will die without you (not true of course) I shall do everything (maybe most of it if not all) except agree with you’re crazy ideas. There. Is that better? Just remember dear, tolerance of ideas doesn't necessarily mean I think their correct ok? Deal?
Uh! Will will you ever learn!
Should you be interested, just in case, here are links to some of cheesy the bugs weird ideas: 1) How it all started: http://blog.chess.com/nerryaugustin/the-lamentations-of-cheesy-the-bug; 2) Crazy Cheesy: http://blog.chess.com/nerryaugustin/cheesy-the-bug-is-bugging-me-off-again