WhackyWookiee

Attention Cheaters! Are you morons or is it tiny genitalia?

Take your lumps, learn to play the natural way. 

Don't artificially inflate your ratings to play people you could never beat anyhow...

Having a Computer play your games, using a Live Analysis Board, asking another Player for move advice: These are all Cheating.

Probably lots more ways.

You could be less obvious at least...

Is there Money involved? 

"USCF?" United States Cheater Federation.