The following excerpts (from a book called Disorder in the American Courts), are things people actually said in court, word for word, published by court reporters - quite a torment to stay calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY:What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS:He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY:And why did that upset you?
WITNESS:My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS:Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:Yes.
ATTORNEY:And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:I forget...
ATTORNEY:You forget?Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS:We both do.
ATTORNEY:Voodoo?
WITNESS:We do...
ATTORNEY:You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY:The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:Yes.
ATTORNEY:And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:She had three children, right?
WITNESS:Yes.
ATTORNEY:How many were boys?
WITNESS:None.
ATTORNEY:Were there any girls?
WITNESS:Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:By death...
ATTORNEY:And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY:Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY:Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY:Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:All of them... The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY:And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY:Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY:Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:No.
ATTORNEY:Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:No.
ATTORNEY:Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:No...
ATTORNEY:So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:No.
ATTORNEY:How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law…
The following excerpts (from a book called Disorder in the American Courts), are things people actually said in court, word for word, published by court reporters - quite a torment to stay calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, 'Where am I, Cathy?'
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget...
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS: We both do.
ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do...
ATTORNEY: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep , he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
____________________________________
ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He's 20, much like your IQ.
___________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honour, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death...
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
_____________________________________
ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
______________________________________
ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them... The live ones put up too much of a fight.
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral...
_________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
____________________________________________
ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
______________________________________
And last:
ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No...
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law…