My pfp if you want it (you probably dont)

Hello, I am a person. My USCF rating is 319 *currently* And my best rating on chess.com is 776 in Daily. I post puzzles in forums once in a while, if you care .

Mate in 2 I know this is super easy so here’s another one.

Plant a decoy then Win material
So yeah. Join my club, the 100000000 rated players. I will make you a coordinator. Hope you have a good life! Bye!

P.S. If you clean the vacuum, do you become the vacuum cleaner?

Bye

Actually

No, seriously ByeActually

2026 GOALS

CROSS 400 in everything, I’m terrible at chess

550 views

grow my club

90 friends!

Also pls friend me…..

And if you have dark theme, well you can’t enjoy the experience. (as well)

PLEASE JOIN MY CLUB… I WILL MAKE YOU ADMIN… UNTIL MARCH 30th

bye fr

Bye

NOTICE: If I’m playing fast, it’s not because I’m good; it’s because my dinner is getting cold.

"Chess is 99% tactics. The other 1% is me accidentally clicking the wrong square and pretending it was a sacrifice." - @anshuisthewinner

WALL OF FAME

@Aronole - has the best club ever
@Duo-Owl - is just cool
@SS-Ehan - one of the best super admins
@Lampetos - is a lamp (even though he says he’s not)
every other friend i have met on chess.com
you - you have helped me more than you know

Current Rating: 300 (But I play like a 400 on a good day). My Strategic Philosophy Most players study the Sicilian Defense or the Ruy Lopez. I have pioneered my own style: The Panic Attack. It involves:Moving my Knights in circles until they get captured. Forgetting that Pawns can capture diagonally. Resigning only when my King is literally cornered and sobbing. Performance Analytics Skill Level Description Vision 20/200 I can see a fork... about three moves after it happens.Blunder Rate Elite I don't just hang pieces; I donate them to charity. Psychology Grandmaster My moves are so bad my opponents assume they're traps. Speed Turbo I move in 0.5 seconds because I have no idea what’s happening.

Chess is a struggle against one's own errors. Currently, I am losing that struggle, but I am winning at having a cool profile bio.

⚠️ THE SCHOLAR’S REGISTRY ⚠️

Attention all Queen-rushers and four-move-wonder hopefuls:

If you try to Scholar’s Mate me: Just know that I’ve seen the YouTube tutorial. I might still lose, but I will make it the most awkward 10 minutes of your life.
The "Early Queen" Tax: If you bring your Queen out on move two, I will spend my entire time bank making sure she never sees her family again.
Current Success Rate: I defend against the Scholar’s Mate approximately 40% of the time. The other 60%, I am "tactically donating" my f7 pawn to make you feel overconfident.

Hi

If you solve this you are smart.

$$-$$$, $$$-### (((-^^^-** @@@-@-^^ &&&-##-@-# *-$$-$$$-&&&& $$$-###

@-&&&-## &&&&-^-@-&&&-*

Hint:

Ok since you will not leave, you shall die…

Meow

Meow

Random words time!

The The Lord has spoken for us and I know it is true but it’s a fact of the matter that I have been through this past week I have not had any problems and I’m just not sure how I feel right about this is a problem that is a fact that is a very serious issue and it’s a fact I have been trying for years and I’m not sure what I want anymore and I’m just going through this with you I don’t want you anymore I just know I have no right now and I’m just gonna keep you on this thing I know I don’t know how much to get you and I’m just saying I just don’t want you know I just don’t wanna get hurt I don’t want you don’t want you don’t want you to know how you want you don’t want you just know I know that I just want you don’t want you can do what I don’t care what I just want to know I know I don’t want you I just want to be with you know I don’t know

If this world were mine….

I’d eat it

I’d crush it

Devour it

Gulp gulp gulp

Swallows

Tasty!

Like a Pastry!

The Random Thoughts Area

How many friends do I have?

Did you scroll up to see?

lol

Join my club please!

It’s The 100000000 rated players

8 zeros

Please

And also join The Illusion Fireballs!

Thanks!

I guess this is it

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Bye bye

I hope you want to friend me!

I have played in 2 OTB Tournaments

In the first one, I got 3rd, and in the second, i got 2nd.

THIS BIO WAS MADE BY A RANDOM GUY DEFINITELY NOT NAMED ANSHU!!

of my body is dead, the other half is “donating” my queen to make you happy. Then, I emotionally break down.

dm me "Sandwich” for a prize

Actually

For real, bye

Guess what?

Did you guess it?

What?! I told you to guess WHAT!

I GIVE UP YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT SIGMA LIKE ME!

If Rick rolls over you, then do you get rickrolled?

Hi I am a person

Some things I know about you

☆ 1. You're reading this.

☆ 2. You're a human

☆ 3. You can't say the letter P without separating your lips.

☆ 4. You've just attempted to do it.

☆ 6. You're laughing at yourself.

☆ 7. You have a smile on your face and you skipped number 5.

☆ 8. You just checked to see if there was a number 5.

☆ 9. You laughed at this because you fell for it and everyone else did too.

gjbjGuys, I am an random idiot U came across on chess.com I’m dumb rite?Are you gonna stalk me for the rest of my life!?!?

Ok Goodbye For real but one more fact

Look down

. when will you leave me?!

Bye! U R DEAD BECAUSE YOU HAVE REACHED THE BLACK HOLE

Oh you aren’t dead… ok anyways

I’m not saying I’m the worst chess player you’ll ever meet, but if I ever offer you a draw, it’s probably because I’ve accidentally deleted the app.

Good luck out there—you’re going to need it, mostly because my moves are so unpredictable that even I don't know what I'm doing next. If you beat me, just remember: you didn't win, I just allowed you to experience the joy of victory as a charitable donation.

Catch you on the f7 square!