New opening I invented

Look at the new opening I invented!  It won in one move!  I will call it "The Dude Opening"

http://www.chess.com/livechess/game?id=565268051

That's not a new opening.

haha this is really dumb but quite amusing

GM Tal used this opening frequently (before your time, I guess). Unfortunately, his opponents did not surrender instantly.

Loses by force.

White has 3 good first moves, and they are equally good...matter of taste.

1.d4!, 1.c4!, 1.Nf3!

Heading into a bongcloud, very strong indeed.

What about 1. a3!! It wins by force

Well, you certainly took a small advantage before game ended 

You just ruined chess for millions of people world wide.

Oh well, on to checkers.

@DefinitelyNotGM

lol but i think that is a joke. you cant have spaces in your name

What does "Game abandoned" mean? Does mean that it timed out?

It wasn't on chess.com

Wow! First time have I heard that a3 and e4 are exellent moves.

Did you really play that match in 1900?

It means Black accepted the game but never made his first move.  When a game times out on the first move it's considered "abandoned" - it doesn't count for anything.