Open good bye letter for the spirit of d4

Dear Nf3,

A little hyperactive, aren't you? Let the pawns do some work at least.

-Grandmaster3141

How many slumber parties does this guy have?

wow Tmimitw no wonder you live in a van down by a river you keep chess pieces on your dashboard. Do you play chess while your driving? 

No, I talk to my friends then.

while driving?

Great thread. Unfortunately, I am extremely uncreative.

If you are uncreative, you wouldn't get all these hidden jokes in the letters, and therefore you wouldn't call it a "great thread". There's some creativity in you, kid.

P.S. Isn't rubidium an element of the periodic table?

dear d4 f5

thanks for the perfect score you have given to me when I am with you, I apreciate the lines ranging from classical to Lenningrad to Stonewall. maybe there is a way I can list them all, to lazy for now, so let me not say how, and I will bid adue

jet

Dear Na3,

This isn't checkers, you coward. You aren't safe at that edge.

-Grandmaster3141

You are a very creative speller.

Dear 1. a4, thank you for making me laugh my head off... except when I lose to you!-me.

Dear 1...a6, I HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE... Sincerely, Karpov.

Dear e4 e5,

Careful when he moves his bishop.

-Grandmaster3141

Dear d4 f5 e4 - Thank you for the perfect OTB score I have with you, and for refuting d4 f5. I am sorry for jetfighter and yet am glad that now the dutch shall no longer be used.

Dear Openings Forum,

I am a knight at a small mid-western college. I read your threads regularly but never thought I would have anything of note to post myself. Until last week, that is. Usually I go for Italian girls – you know, those hot Sicilian chicks with a bit of an edge to them. But this time it was different.  I was doing my usual daily grind on f3 when out of the corner of my eye, this tall dark dame caught my eye. There was something about her that was intimidating- so tall! She just exuded power and raw danger. And such majesty! I wasn’t sure whether I would be able to resist her, even if I wanted to. I winked at her and she sidled up to an adjoining square. “Hey big boy,” she chuckled at me. Before I even knew what was happening, she was all over me! I felt exposed, open, and even though I knew I should be afraid for my life, I decided to take a chance and do the dance with this lady. My pawns were down around my ankles in a flash and I could not resist. Now I’m not a religious man, but when I saw two bishops standing nearby while she took me, cheering her on, I knew this was something special. Long story short, the mate was quick, brutal, and memorable. I will never forget her, that queen of the night. Thanks for listening,

- Lancelot

Don't you dare perform a Queen sacrifice !

- The King

It is not refuted just a different challange you have set up.

dear d4, you have been revived with the queenside fried liver, I shall now play you every game.

Dear d4

 ever hear about waiting for e4 to be played first, e stands for energetic, d stands for dull, so while your games are filled with long lulls between the action, e4's are filled with many an attraction. and don't start about your worst variation, that QSFL, it is a patzer opening for a reason, that some people refuse to abandon, but hey everyone is sentamentle, thats the way I am with e4 e5 f4