The Closed Sicilian: The Dangerous Pawn Push

So, how can black get a decent position out of this?

I am aware. I only meant to get to the typical Closed Sicilian position. I could have chosen any move order.

After all, the thread is about the pawn push, not the game itself.

Anyways, what's your take on it? Give me some feedback, instead of just criticizing 9...b5?

Nonetheless, the entire combination is sound after 12. f5!?.

By the way, I checked 10. e5! with Houdini and Rybka. Black can manage a draw with accurate play, so it's not completely losing.

Three pieces vs. two (still a draw):

2. Nxh7! is better, since black has to respond to the discovered check.

Continuing to analyze a line after a blunder (9...b5) is a waste of time.

You miss the point.

The blunder doesn't matter. What matters is the pawn push.

The blunder is also not losing.

This is like saying "Yes, I know I've cut my femoral artery, but look how nicely I've bandaged this nick on my finger."

The point behind the thread is to find a good reply to f5.

The moves played were just played to reach that position. It has nothing to do with the discussion.

Consider posing a sequence of moves that reaches your position of interest without Black losing a piece. To most of us, post-blunder analysis is not a productive activity.

This is completely losing game for Black! I will never play any Sicilian anymore. Time to pack.

How is it losing, wise one?

Trapped. You don't get it. The joke is on you. lol.

The joke isn't on me. Play the position out and you will see that black has many resources to even out the game.

This thread is about f5. Focus on f5, and stop trolling.

Relax. I like it when my opponents play closed Sicilian. It shows that they are afraid to play true Sicilian. As a positional player, I certainly hope they play closed Sicilian.

And what is the point of playing 1. e4, if they are afraid of Sicilian, the most played defense? They should change to something else.

When you play 1.e4, you should certainly expect that your opponent will answer 1. ... c5. So face it, instead of lloking for a closed Sicilian.

Some of us like the Closed Sicilian because opponents who have weak positional play have trouble figuring it out.

logic and move order matter.  Those are the things that need special attention.

Gads. Grown men with big bushy beards and titles like "international master" being mean to each other over a board game. 

Why don't we all grow up and get out of the house a little more, try and figure out what's important in life...