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I can't get that game where I miscalculated an EASY WIN off my mind

  • #1

    I can't stop thinking about a game where I could have easily won, but I miscalculated so I didn't. Is this normal? I have an anxiety problem and am wondering if that has something to do with this?

  • #2

    yes its normal, those who can't handle losses, defeats, or mistakes, simply just havent made enough of them happy.png  You will become tougher and more resilient emotionally over time as long as you are aware of what triggers you and you can remain rational and positive.

  • #3

    NO, I've miscalculated many games, but this one is harder to forget. After a few days, it should pass, whatever.

  • #4

    Well Magnus Carlsen HATES losing and he turned that into a hyper-competitive study routine for many years.  Emotions are just information, it's what you do with them that distinguishes you.

  • #5
    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • #6

     You NEED to learn how to facilitate your emotions into positive effects, not negative ones happy.png

  • #7
    EndgameStudy wrote:

    I can't stop thinking about a game where I could have easily won, but I miscalculated so I didn't. Is this normal? I have an anxiety problem and am wondering if that has something to do with this?

     

    It's absolutely normal if you care about playing good chess! 

    In the last week, I had better positions in three games against stronger players. Two probably winning . And ended up losing two and drawing one. Clearly disgusting chess. My bad plans and rotten concentration will haunt me for awhile. Certainly ruins that day or evening it happens.

    On the plus side, you want to remember the positives though. You did get a seriously better position and, as you mentioned, the disgust passes with time. And in the big, big picture, a bad chess game isn't a huge deal. 

    Not converting winning positions is usually due to bad plans and/or, as you mentioned concentration. Also time management can be a factor. (I was rushed in each of my games). Probably focusing on strengthening these areas should help. Also in one of Yusupov's Mastery books, the Green volume 3 maybe, he had a chapter on winning won positions. Resources like that could be useful.

    So, if you really care about playing good chess, playing lousy does and should sting a lot. That's normal. Converting most of one's chess opportunities is probably the best and maybe the only cure for that pain. 

     

     

  • #8
    Nckchrls wrote:
    EndgameStudy wrote:

    I can't stop thinking about a game where I could have easily won, but I miscalculated so I didn't. Is this normal? I have an anxiety problem and am wondering if that has something to do with this?

     

    It's absolutely normal if you care about playing good chess! 

    In the last week, I had better positions in three games against stronger players. Two probably winning . And ended up losing two and drawing one. Clearly disgusting chess. My bad plans and rotten concentration will haunt me for awhile. Certainly ruins that day or evening it happens.

    On the plus side, you want to remember the positives though. You did get a seriously better position and, as you mentioned, the disgust passes with time. And in the big, big picture, a bad chess game isn't a huge deal. 

    Not converting winning positions is usually due to bad plans and/or, as you mentioned concentration. Also time management can be a factor. (I was rushed in each of my games). Probably focusing on strengthening these areas should help. Also in one of Yusupov's Mastery books, the Green volume 3 maybe, he had a chapter on winning won positions. Resources like that could be useful.

    So, if you really care about playing good chess, playing lousy does and should sting a lot. That's normal. Converting most of one's chess opportunities is probably the best and maybe the only cure for that pain. 

     

     

     

    Painful losses, a pain that lasts and lingers, is premium fuel for motivation and study to do better next time.  Reap the learning!

  • #9

    NO!!! It was a simple move that I missed. I shouldn't have constant regret. There's nothing I can do about THAT GAME. It's over. It was an easy tactic. I already understand the tactic, I just miscalculated. It's not like I need to improve my calculation ability, like being able to calculate further ahead, it was simply MISSING it. It's like missing a mate in 3. A concentration problem. It's not my chess playing ability. It's a focusing problem.

    2nd, I don't think it should haunt you for a while. It's 1 chess game out of over 200. It's not important to my life. That defeats the purpose of playing chess. I shouldn't go on chess.com to have fun, and then emotionally suffer for days after ward. I think it's just from my anxiety disorder that I've had for over 2 years because it enhances negative reactions over trivial things, so yeah it's just that. The game's over, doesn't mean anything, it's just for fun, it happens to everyone.

  • #10

              "Painful losses, a pain that lasts and lingers, is premium fuel for motivation and study to do better next time. Reap the learning!"

     

    It's a chess game, it shouldn't last and linger. It's not like it actually had any impact on my life.

  • #11

    Ironically, the regret about that game lingering will distract me even more in future games.

  • #12

    you've only played 200 games?!??!?!?!  I've played probably over 50,000 (250x  for those who dont want to do the math) over the years and mistakes still bother me... And how are you so good at chess after only 200 games? must be some kind of record grin.png

  • #13
    EndgameStudy wrote:

    It's a chess game, it shouldn't last and linger. It's not like it actually had any impact on my life.

    Then... why did you post this..?

  • #14
    AntonioEsfandiari wrote:

    you've only played 200 games?!??!?!?!  I've played probably over 50,000 (250x  for those who dont want to do the math) over the years and mistakes still bother me... And how are you so good at chess after only 200 games? must be some kind of record

     

    1st of all, this account is only about 2 and a half months old.

    2nd, I've been studying chess for over 9 years. I've played in state tournaments and have won money prizes. My USCF Rating is in the 1500s. Type in Mike Miller, New York, you'll see.

    3rd. How could u have played 50,000 games. What else do you do in your life? I just started college. Even if u played 100 games a day, u'd have to do that for like 2 years continously for 50,000. How old are You? How long have you been playing? BTW, your stats say u've only played a few hundred.

    4th, your ability doesn't have to do with the number of games u play. they are just practice.

    5th, I suck at bullet. I need time to calculate, especially in the endgame. I just blunder in bullet. My blitz rating, in the 1400s, is more accurate.

     

     

  • #15

    I'm a stay at home father right now.  I just started playing chess at age 26 (4.5 years ago)  And yeah that's not too far off 10-25 games a day x 4.5 years.   Ok so maybe 25,000 is closer.   I've had several accounts, my last one had chat privileges permanently revoked for some less-than-gentlemanly language.  This  account isn't 2 years old and has over 6,000 games.  Also I play on other sites.

  • #16

    This kind of irrelevant but.... once I was playing king of the hill and I had the guy in a really good position, I took his queen and stuff. Anyway, I was feeling pretty good about myself and was kind of ignoring the board. My opponent's time was really running out and I was like "I got this in the bag". He went down to 0.01 seconds and then the game over screen came up and I thought I won. I looked closer and found out he had moved his King to the middle. So.... Yeah. Sad times.

  • #17
    AntonioEsfandiari wrote:

    I'm a stay at home father right now.  I just started playing chess at age 26 (4.5 years ago)  And yeah that's not too far off 10-25 games a day x 4.5 years.   Ok so maybe 25,000 is closer.   I've had several accounts, my last one had chat privileges permanently revoked for some less-than-gentlemanly language.  This  account isn't 2 years old and has over 6,000 games.  Also I play on other sites.

    They shouldn't revoke chat for swearing. Who cares?

  • #18

    I just did that same thing- I have lost thousands of games and won thousands of games but my last game bothers me same way yours bothers you - I made a mouse mistake number one boo boo - but the move I wanted to make would have given him one safe square for his king - on looking at the game to day I saw 2 boo boo - I could have should have would have could have moved my queen beside his king and had check mate - closing the gate after horse bolted - while playing at the time I never never never saw that moving beside his king was check mate - sigh



  • #19

    U had Qg7+, Kxf5, Qg5#, I See. Mouse slips aren't really your fault though. I've had those like 10-20 of those. That's what happens in bullet games. Happens to everyone. Don't give it a 2nd thought. There was a time I missed mate in 1 cause I thought a piece was guarding that square and it really wasn't, optical illusion lol

  • #20
    EndgameStudy wrote:

    NO!!! It was a simple move that I missed. I shouldn't have constant regret. There's nothing I can do about THAT GAME. It's over. It was an easy tactic. I already understand the tactic, I just miscalculated.

     

    You would probably notice that the move was rather simple during the post-analysis, but during the game itself there were probably many things to worry about simultaneously that the move did not appear simple. Essentially, you had to fight against pressure during the game.

     

    In the fourth game of latest over-the-board rapid tournament, I played a terrible move which lost the game. Of course, only after I made a move did I realise that it was bad. A simplified scenario is as follows.

     

     

    In the actual game there were many more pieces and pawns, but I was a comfortable one pawn up as White in the game. I allowed Black's knight to capture my b4 pawn as I had intended Qa4+ winning the knight. The knight could not retreat to c6 safely without being captured by some other piece (or d5 pawn, I forgot already) not in the simplified diagram. Eventually I played Qa4+ and my opponent replied with Bd7. Suddenly, the f8 bishop 'appeared in my eye out of nowhere', even though it has not left home yet from the start. I overlooked that the bishop was guarding the b4 square. This one mistake is so fatal that I went on to lose the game. Anyone who sees this position will say that White plays like a beginner, but during the game I felt the pressure and could not notice the simple point.

     

     

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