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182. You don't play any chess because you're afraid of losing183. You think Bughouse is a game where you put as many bugs as you can on a chessboard184. You insist on promoting your pawn to a pawn185. When your opponent says "check", you move the queen.186. You put the knights on the c and f files, and put the bishops on the b and g files187. You don't know what a file is188. You don't know what a rank is189. You insist on making a 9x9 chessboard because you need more pieces to win190. You think that kings can't capture pieces191. When your opponent says "checkmate", you call another player to check the board192. You think chess is a card game193. You spell Bobby Fischer as Bobby Fisher194. You think Bobby Fischer was a fisherman
195. You think your rating is your ranking, so you think you're the best in the world
196. You think that a fork is when you put the piece on a fork197. When you create a skewer, you start grilling the pieces on a skewer
198. You think that capturing a piece en prise means you get a prize199. You think that the king is a regular piece that can be captured200. You think that castling means to bring out your rooks, since you think they're called castles
When white claims check mate
202. You only play chess on rainy days to entertain yourself203. You don't bother playing--you just watch other people's games204. You always put your knights on the rim205. You fianchetto your king206. You think fianchetto is an Italian food207. You don't know Karpov's first name208. You don't know the difference between Kasparov and Karpov209. You pronounce FIDE as fy-d
210. You play the King-pawn endgame with a Bishop.
211. You castle Queenside by switching the Rook's and the Queen's places.
212. You play Nh9 on the 57th move.
213. You think you can't move the King unless it's in Check or all of your pieces are captured.
214. You're calling the squares on your board as White and Black.
215. Your king and queen are forked, and you don't know which piece to save216. You think the white pieces only go on white squares217. You think the black pieces only go on black squares218. You think bishops are the most mobile in the corner with open diagonals
219. You think that when a piece goes through one corner/edge of the board, it emerges from the opposite one.
220. You think that only Philidor played the French Defense
221. You don't think that the coordinates on the board matter, so sometimes you set up your white pieces on the 7 & 8 rank, and then other times you put the black pieces on the 1 & 2 rank.222. You try triple-jumping 3 pieces with your knight, like people do in checkers223. You just can't wrap your mind around how the knight moves224. You don't get the point of stalemate--if you trapped the king, it should be a win for you
225. You think that pawns can capture going forwards
226. You think pawns can go backwards
78. You reach an endgame with two kings and no other pieces, but you still get checkmated.
79. Your knights can't quite jump high enough to get over other pieces.
80. You tried to fork your opponent's king and queen but found them hard to chew. Maybe next time you'll try a spoon.
81. The last time you tried a smothered mate you wound up in the ER for asphyxiation.
82. You try to sacrifice your queen early because her pointy crown keeps stabbing you in the thumb.
83. You can never remember whether pawns move forwards or backwards.
84. Your favorite opening is the Bongcloud.
85. You once made a mistake setting up the pieces so your king was in checkmate in the starting position.
227. You can't understand why so much study is put into openings -- after all, Ruy Lopez is great, isn't it?