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1000 Signs you play chess too LITTLE!

  • #121

    196. You think that a fork is when you put the piece on a fork
    197. When you create a skewer, you start grilling the pieces on a skewer

  • #122

    198. You think that capturing a piece en prise means you get a prize
    199. You think that the king is a regular piece that can be captured
    200. You think that castling means to bring out your rooks, since you think they're called castles

  • #123

    201. You, as white, don't know how to mate in this position
  • #124

    When white claims check mate

  • #125

    202. You only play chess on rainy days to entertain yourself
    203. You don't bother playing--you just watch other people's games
    204. You always put your knights on the rim
    205. You fianchetto your king
    206. You think fianchetto is an Italian food
    207. You don't know Karpov's first name
    208. You don't know the difference between Kasparov and Karpov
    209. You pronounce FIDE as fy-d

  • #126

    210. You play the King-pawn endgame with a Bishop. 

  • #127

    211. You castle Queenside by switching the Rook's and the Queen's places. 

  • #128

    212. You play Nh9 on the 57th move. 

  • #129

    213. You think you can't move the King unless it's in Check or all of your pieces are captured. 

  • #130

    214. You're calling the squares on your board as White and Black. 

  • #131

    215. Your king and queen are forked, and you don't know which piece to save
    216. You think the white pieces only go on white squares
    217. You think the black pieces only go on black squares
    218. You think bishops are the most mobile in the corner with open diagonals

  • #132

    219. You think that when a piece goes through one corner/edge of the board, it emerges from the opposite one. 

  • #133

    220. You think that only Philidor played the French Defense

  • #134

    221. You don't think that the coordinates on the board matter, so sometimes you set up your white pieces on the 7 & 8 rank, and then other times you put the black pieces on the 1 & 2 rank.
    222. You try triple-jumping 3 pieces with your knight, like people do in checkers
    223. You just can't wrap your mind around how the knight moves
    224. You don't get the point of stalemate--if you trapped the king, it should be a win for you

  • #135

    225. You think that pawns can capture going forwards

  • #136

    226. You think pawns can go backwards

  • #137
    Berder wrote:

    78. You reach an endgame with two kings and no other pieces, but you still get checkmated.

    79. Your knights can't quite jump high enough to get over other pieces.

    80. You tried to fork your opponent's king and queen but found them hard to chew.  Maybe next time you'll try a spoon.

    81. The last time you tried a smothered mate you wound up in the ER for asphyxiation.

    82. You try to sacrifice your queen early because her pointy crown keeps stabbing you in the thumb.

    83. You can never remember whether pawns move forwards or backwards.

    84. Your favorite opening is the Bongcloud.

    85. You once made a mistake setting up the pieces so your king was in checkmate in the starting position.

    Best ones.

  • #138

    227. You can't understand why so much study is put into openings -- after all, Ruy Lopez is great, isn't it?

  • #139

    228. You don't have any chess pieces.

    229. You call the knights "wooden horses"

  • #140

    230. You don't know where to get a chessboard, so you make one out of paper
    231. You call it a draw by insufficient material when you have 2 bishops and king vs. king
    232. You think the king can capture protected pieces
    233. After move 2, you only move your king
    234. You think people sacrificing their queen for checkmate are crazy
    235. You don't know what a back rank mate is
    236. You sacrifice your king because of his pointy cross
    237. You sacrifice your queen early because you don't like its looks
    238. You purposely move your knights where they're unprotected so you can get them off the board because you don't like the way they look
    239. You sacrifice your bishops because you don't like the look of them
    240. You think pawns are cute so you sacrifice every other piece to keep ahold of them
    241. You castle by move 107
    242. You connect your rooks by using magnets to connect them
    243. You pin a piece by sewing it to the board
    244. You think you can only move knights at night


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