56. Your second move of the game is usually with a rook.
(This actually makes sense> think about it for a minute if you don't get it)
1000 Signs you play chess too LITTLE!
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58. You study openings and endgames all day, but cannot win a game. (Hint Hint Artman)
Metaknight251 wrote:
57. You play into fool's mate in bughouse and resign instead of placing a piece.
59. You wait for your partner to give you a piece and then resign anyway.
60. When you hear about castling, you bring a toy castle to your next chess club meeting
61. If you are white, you never get to make move 3.
62. If you are black, you never get to make move 4.
63. You have no idea what a scholar's mate is
64. You think that the kings gambit involves sacrificing your king.
65. You think that the queens gambit involves sacrificing your queen.
66. You try to pin your opponent's knight with a drawing pin.
67. You always move a pawn to before b4 your opponent does.
68. The best chess-related joke you can come up with is a notation joke.
69. You think black moves first.
70. If you don't know that white moves, then you decide to settle who goes first with rock, paper, scissors.
71. When your pawn reaches the last rank, you leave it thinking it will remain as a pawn and control that square.
72. You don't know what chess is.
73. When somebody says Fischer, you start thinking about the NBA.
74. Your board's lower right corner is black.
75. You think en passant is God's gift.
76. You resign after the game is finished
77. You try to abort the game during the middle when you're losing, but end up clicking resign instead.
78. You reach an endgame with two kings and no other pieces, but you still get checkmated.
79. Your knights can't quite jump high enough to get over other pieces.
80. You tried to fork your opponent's king and queen but found them hard to chew. Maybe next time you'll try a spoon.
81. The last time you tried a smothered mate you wound up in the ER for asphyxiation.
82. You try to sacrifice your queen early because her pointy crown keeps stabbing you in the thumb.
83. You can never remember whether pawns move forwards or backwards.
84. Your favorite opening is the Bongcloud.
85. You once made a mistake setting up the pieces so your king was in checkmate in the starting position.
86. You think the first rule of chess is "never let your adversary see your pieces."
87. As soon as the chess pieces figure out you are their king, they stage a revolution and institute democracy.
88. You can't remember whether 44 is your pants size, your USCF rating, or both.
89. You somehow get stuck in this opening:
InexperiencedExpert wrote:
cradon5953 wrote:
53. Ppl randomly yell out things ie. losing, terrible, blunder force mate 7 moves (hint hint DaBigOne)
54. You put the letters vertically and the numbers horizontally
55. In notation, you use numbers before the letter
About no.55 : Sometimes you have to use numbers before the letter, like when you have two rooks on the f-file, for example 22. R7f3
I meant ie instead of e4, u say 4e, or e5, 5e etc.
Metaknight251 wrote:
90. You are playing white in the above position and can't figure out how to win and decide to stalemate your opponent before you flag.
Something like that actually happened to me, except my opponent had the extra rook, and he kept trying until he ran out of time. Here is the game: http://www.chess.com/livechess/game.html?id=135260802
93. You try to promote pawn to king
94. When you mention chess, people chuckle
95. Your pieces desert the game you are playing
96. Someone has to not play at all with you to make a fair match
97. Your opponent feels so sorry for you, they sacrifice everything except their king and one pawn (which they promise they will never promote) and they still win.
......