1000 Signs you play chess too LITTLE!

LETS LIST 1000 SIGNS!

YES THIS IS A PARODY, LOL

You play only 1/0 games.

2. You forgot who goes first

3.You think the queen moves in l shapes

4. You spend all your time on chess sites in the forums instead of playing.

5. You play poker instead of chess

7. You think u need to be royalty to play the kings gambit

9. You promote your pawn to your opponents pieces

12. You checkmate your own king to win the game

13. You are very good at suicide chess, because u find it easy to give away pieces

16. You spell Bobby Fischer "Bobby Fisher"!

17. You dont sleep with a chessboard

INSULT MUCH?????

That's how I always spelled it.

18. You see a chess book that you've always read and wonder why your brother would rob the library just so he can get slightly better at chess.

19. You don't make the effort to even learn the RULES!

20. You thinks that the movie "Searching for Bobby Fischer" is a movie about Fischer when he was a child

One of your recent puzzle compositions; Difficulty: HARD

22. You try to mate yourself

23. You play 2.Qh5

I actually did that once in a puzzle. I was wondering why I couldn't find mate  but then I realized it was my own king.

23. You have never had a game go past the opening, because you always resign after you lose your queen

24. You don't know what the point of Chess.com is

25. You buy an opening book, thinking it opens itself

I did 23 again to get back on track because 11 got skipped.

26.  You actually hear what your wife is saying.

27.  You don't do a pee-pee dance at your desk because you're in the middle of a blitz game.