1000 signs you suck at chess

KeSetoKaiba

744: You promote a pawn into a "King" by stacking a captured pawn on top of your promoted pawn (again Checkers). 

p.s. If you can successfully stack pawns, I might very well be impressed enough to let you win. 

KeSetoKaiba

745: Spending 5 minutes on your first move trying to decide where to move your Bishop. grin.png

bong711

746. Playing e3 and g3 (e6, g6) in the opening without valid reason. Common mistakes of post beginners.

KeSetoKaiba

747: Actually playing any opening moves "without valid reasoning." I've fallen guilty to this one myself sometimes. I know that this position looks like one I am booked up on, so I'll play this thematic move and perhaps transpose: this alone isn't "valid" enough. Every position is different (even if they appear similar) and so it deserves proper attention to detail. I've missed lots of "punishes" because I didn't give the position the attention it deserved and I've let my opponent transpose back into a better position than they should have gotten.

ginzbirdman

734 is me

bong711

748. You play drunk. Can't tell the difference between a pawn, knight, bishop, queen and king happy.png and also white from black happy.png

NoLongGinge

749. You open Na3 because you’re a scientist who likes Sodium

NoLongGinge

750. You have an active sex life

NoLongGinge

751. You get upset that Ron Weasley isn’t riding on one of your knights

krazykat1975

744. You start singing The Doors "Break On Through To The Other Side" when your opponent gets his pawn all the way on your side of the board, and gets a promotion. 

krazykat1975

753. You look at the clock and say "Oh, I was suppose to be at work an hour ago!"

bong711

754. You walk your dog 3 times a day.

KeSetoKaiba

755: You see just over 5 minutes left on your clock; you accept your fate of losing on time and begin listening to Europe The Final Countdown.

sirmasterr
756 when you realize your rating is 1 and you brag about being the best player in the world
bong711

757.! Your Daily ratings is 1600 but your blitz and rapid ratings is 1000.

1_a31-0
sirmasterr wrote:
756 when you realize your rating is 1 and you brag about being the best player in the world

On a completely unrelated sidenote, look up the Dunning Kruger Effect wink.png

1_a31-0

758 - "Patzer sees check, patzer plays check"

......so in order to not be a patzer, you never give check -- or check-mate..!

Chessplayer2093

759 You play 1. a3

1_a31-0

"a3 best by test"....!

Plus, Duda played a3 in a must-win game at the World Cup..and won happy.png