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2826-4000 Worst Things To Do While Playing Chess

  • #1281

    3574. You keep trying to teach grandma how to play chess, but she, again, mistakenly crochets your chess pieces into a beautiful, colorful sweater, and announces checkmate since your pieces have been entirely immobilized. Grandma, go take a macramé class and leave the kids at home for a change, jeez...

  • #1282

    3575. Not eating bread before moving your first piece.

  • #1283

    3576. constantly repeat the time all the way down to nanoseconds every nanosecond and annoy the heck out of your opponent

  • #1284

    Did they check to see if the toddler was armed? I’m so sick of media slant

  • #1285

    Toddler had two arms, except they was legs, man, I guarantee it...

  • #1286
    garrisonisawesome wrote:

    3576. constantly repeat the time all the way down to nanoseconds every nanosecond and annoy the heck out of your opponent

     

    To nanoseconds every nanosecond and annoy the heck...

    2 nanoseconds, to nanoseconds!
    all my life is built on but nanoseconds
    let us toast to 2 nanoseconds
    let us roast and when we boast
    for the most nanoseconds we will coast
    we will have 2 nanoseconds
    to toast and boast and roast (a ham) with our nanoseconds.
    When we run out of our nanoseconds
    will you be with me?
    and when we have fun with our nanoseconds
    will you count them with me?
    One thing's for certain
    if you close the curtain
    you won't see the moonlight
    your birdbrain will see the flight
    of the nanoseconds.
    Oh Pedro, oh Paola, we've run outta time
    Pedro, bring in the rosemary, Paola, bring in the lime.
    And squirt some Worcestershire sauce for me
    right there on the rime
    of the frosty glass so saucy, so bossy you bossy, so sublime.
    To nanoseconds, 2 nonniseconds,
    Hey nonni nonni, and a hot cha cha!
    Let's do some tai chi with Rooibos chai tea
    and when we run out of 2 nanoseconds
    go directly to our nanothirds when we have our whey
    if we wish count the nanoseconds and observe we are birds.

  • #1287

    3577. Going to the pawn shop after you lose a pawn from your chess set but, upon arrival, discovering that they have neither T-Rex comic books, Grapemate, nor Worcestershire sauce to offer.

  • #1288

    Heckadoodle do the grapemate sees you

    null

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