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CHESS LIMERICKS

  • #1
    I doubled my rooks on the file
    I pawned in the classical style
    I went by the book
    I baited the hook
    And lost to a four year olds guile.
  • #2

    There once was a player named Bobby, To whom chess was more than mere hobby, He beat Boris Spassky, Completing his task he, Retired and got crazy and gobby.

  • #3

    There once was a player named Kieseritzky

    Do you really think I can find a rhyme to that?

    You've got to be joking

    What are you smoking?

    Where's my whisky as I listen to Stravinsky on a Swiss ski?

  • #4

    There once was a player named Lasker

    Who used to play the Traxler

    He became World Champion, but didn't tell his wife - he refused to fax her

    There's only one thing you can say about this

    That was very lax, sir.

  • #5

    Jose Raul Capablanca, Visited his banker, The richest in Cuba, He bought a gold tuba, What an absolute wan*er.

  • #6

    The last 3 replies have all failed to "Limerick" correctly...

    There once was an Aussie named Rookie

    Who played Chess if you gave him a cookie

    His Limericks, though

    Were not appropo

    And his wife is withholding the nookie...

  • #7

    Said the lovely young maiden from Norway,

    As she hung from her heels in the doorway:

    Come, Magnus, let's play,

    I don't have all day!

    I think I've discovered one more way.

  • #8
    Nice one btickler
  • #9

    There once was a magician from Riga, When attacking with white he was eager, To crush his opponents, Some beautiful moments, The chance of defending was meagre.

  • #10

    Alexander Alekhine, pronouncing his name is head wreckin, Some say it wrong, a slip of the tongue, It's probably worth double checkin.

  • #11

    I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

  • #12
    Strangemover wrote:

    I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

    What a surprise to see you here on these forums, Fabiano Caruana!

  • #13

    macer75 wrote:

    Strangemover wrote:

    I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

    What a surprise to see you here on these forums, Fabiano Caruana!

    2 connected passed pawns ahead, And the game was all but dead, Then I blundered checkmate, What a terrible state, Of affairs is what Yasser said.
  • #14

    There once was a player named Capablanca

    Who often attacked on the flanka

    His opponent's King was usually checkable

    His manners were impeccable

    When he mated he always said, 'Thank ya!'

  • #15

    Im a chess player

    it isnt a desire

    it is my ambition

    to self nutrition

     

    Im a chess player

    it is not a guitar

    it is not a jaguar

    it is my car

    on the road to far.

  • #16

    There once was a player named Svidler

    Who was known as a constant fiddler

    He knocked over the clock and spilt his drink

    Then kicked his opponent and gave her the wink

    He said, "You wanna date?"  She replied, "You're in mate - you didn't expect that, did ya?"

  • #17

    There once was a player named Short, Of sad news I have to report, His glory days over, He busks down in Dover, And sleeps in a Ford Escort.

  • #18

    Nice work, everyone! Glad you joined in the spirit, even the non-limerick poets.

  • #19

    There once was a player named Wei Yi

    An ending he found he was all at sea

    So he went for the attack

    But she sac'd right on back

    1-0 to Patsy from Cincinnati and she was mighty glad, see.

  • #20

    It's said chess.com is now 10

    May 7th '07 was when

    This great domain name

    Started hosting the game

    That we all enjoy now and then!

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