CHESS LIMERICKS

Panzercat
I doubled my rooks on the file
I pawned in the classical style
I went by the book
I baited the hook
And lost to a four year olds guile.
Strangemover

There once was a player named Bobby, To whom chess was more than mere hobby, He beat Boris Spassky, Completing his task he, Retired and got crazy and gobby.

AussieRookie

There once was a player named Kieseritzky

Do you really think I can find a rhyme to that?

You've got to be joking

What are you smoking?

Where's my whisky as I listen to Stravinsky on a Swiss ski?

AussieRookie

There once was a player named Lasker

Who used to play the Traxler

He became World Champion, but didn't tell his wife - he refused to fax her

There's only one thing you can say about this

That was very lax, sir.

Strangemover

Jose Raul Capablanca, Visited his banker, The richest in Cuba, He bought a gold tuba, What an absolute wan*er.

btickler

The last 3 replies have all failed to "Limerick" correctly...

There once was an Aussie named Rookie

Who played Chess if you gave him a cookie

His Limericks, though

Were not appropo

And his wife is withholding the nookie...

MickinMD

Said the lovely young maiden from Norway,

As she hung from her heels in the doorway:

Come, Magnus, let's play,

I don't have all day!

I think I've discovered one more way.

LewisTu
Nice one btickler
Strangemover

There once was a magician from Riga, When attacking with white he was eager, To crush his opponents, Some beautiful moments, The chance of defending was meagre.

Strangemover

Alexander Alekhine, pronouncing his name is head wreckin, Some say it wrong, a slip of the tongue, It's probably worth double checkin.

Strangemover

I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

macer75
Strangemover wrote:

I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

What a surprise to see you here on these forums, Fabiano Caruana!

Strangemover

macer75 wrote:

Strangemover wrote:

I thought my style was Karpovian, That I played like Tigran Petrosian, I'm fooling myself, My game's in poor health, I was crushed by Varuzhan Akobian.

What a surprise to see you here on these forums, Fabiano Caruana!

2 connected passed pawns ahead, And the game was all but dead, Then I blundered checkmate, What a terrible state, Of affairs is what Yasser said.
AussieRookie

There once was a player named Capablanca

Who often attacked on the flanka

His opponent's King was usually checkable

His manners were impeccable

When he mated he always said, 'Thank ya!'

AussieRookie

There once was a player named Svidler

Who was known as a constant fiddler

He knocked over the clock and spilt his drink

Then kicked his opponent and gave her the wink

He said, "You wanna date?"  She replied, "You're in mate - you didn't expect that, did ya?"

Strangemover

There once was a player named Short, Of sad news I have to report, His glory days over, He busks down in Dover, And sleeps in a Ford Escort.

Panzercat

Nice work, everyone! Glad you joined in the spirit, even the non-limerick poets.

AussieRookie

There once was a player named Wei Yi

An ending he found he was all at sea

So he went for the attack

But she sac'd right on back

1-0 to Patsy from Cincinnati and she was mighty glad, see.

ghost_of_pushwood

It's said chess.com is now 10

May 7th '07 was when

This great domain name

Started hosting the game

That we all enjoy now and then!

Sanju_1996d

I like to play the French, it makes my opponent go drench,

sometimes I lose and sometimes I win,

whenever my opponent fails to notice the pin..

there is a Chinese player called hao Wang,

sometimes force your opponent into zugzwang..

the door in my house has a loose knob,

that's why I started to play the grob..

my schedule is getting very hectic,

to get better at chess, start solving tactic.