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Chess Limericks

  • #1

    Please feel free to add a chess limerick! 

    Here is one i made for my niece:

    There was a little girl who played chess

    Whose skills, in it, were a terrible mess.

    She played with a master,

    Which ended in disaster.

    After that, to a game, she seldom said yes!

  • #2

    A master in chess I would like to be

    but not playing chess its not hard to see

    this dream of mine will stay a dream

    but silly as it may seem

    I still want to become a master

  • #3

    1. f3 e6 2. g4

    this opening, i just adore,

    when i play as black.

    but oh would i crack,

    if ever white is my color.

  • #4

    I don't really like your limerick (particularly the word choice), but I do like that the last line rhymes with the first 2 lines (unlike the other one).

  • #5
    Jeffreak wrote:

    your chess limericks are bad,

    annoying, depressing, sad,

    stupid, horrible,

    ugly, terrible,

    and reading them makes me mad.


  • #6

    I've posted these in another thread somewhere, but I like them so what the hell, they can go in here as well

    There once was a wily tactician

    Who got into a winning position.

    But then he said "Sh*te,

    I've blundered a knight!

    I think I need extra tuition."


    A grandmaster wrinkled and frail

    Was playing a well-endowed female.

    While sneaking a look

    He blundered his rook

    His features went horribly pale.

  • #7
    From 1997:
    "Man versus Machine" it was billed
    And each day the auditorium filled!
    An interesting fight -
    With Garry first to have White
    Can anyone claim they weren't thrilled?
    The first game proved Garry still King
    "Deep Blue hasn't learned anything!"
    Quickly out of its book
    It later "won" Garry's Rook
    Does this thing even belong in the ring?
    But then Kasparov resigned in Game 2
    And at the time nobody knew
    Later shown he could draw
    Did this stick in his craw?
    Others may be wondering too!
    "The printouts!" Kasparov cried
    "Why was I so flatly denied?"
    So they were then sealed
    Only later revealed
    One point each -- this match is now tied!
    Games 3, 4, and 5 were all drawn
    Deep Blue did indeed have some brawn!
    It's now winner take all
    So don't fumble the ball
    (Or in our case don't fumble a pawn!)
    Game 6 was the most startling yet
    And I'm sure it cost many a bet
    Deep Blue sacked a Knight
    Quickly proved this was right
    And so began all the talk on the "Net"
    This chess match made worldwide news
    And most thought that Deep Blue would lose
    But with its three-and-a-half
    If you do the math
    You'll find Garry's the one with the "blues!" 
    No machine has done it 'till now
    Bested our champion in match play -- kapow!
    While few thought it would
    Deep Blue proved that it could
    And Garry is wondering "How?"
    "I was not in the mood to fight"
    Said the champ to the press that night
    "But let this be clear"
    "I guarantee -- do you hear?"
    "I will tear it to pieces!" -- he might!
    So, in New York on the eleventh of May
    Of '97, the records will say
    A machine, no less
    Sat down to play chess
    And proved that it really can play!
    "Rematch" was then heard through the land
    It is something we ALL should demand
    For if Deep Blue will square-off
    One more time with Kasparov
    The games would be certainly grand!
    We really have nothing to fear
    Computers can help us, it's clear
    And although Deep Blue won
    And had its day in the sun
    I think "chess" was the real winner here!

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