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Signs you're a bad chess player

  • #1241

    #1275 is the funniest post ever

  • #1242

  • #1243

  • #1244
  • #1245
    [COMMENT DELETED]
  • #1246

    You are a bad chess player when you think it is an honor to receive the Scholar's Mate.

    And, instead of shoving off, you say: "Thank you sir, may I have another?"

  • #1247

    When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!

  • #1248

    When you think is difficult to avoid a fools mate...

  • #1249

    You know that you are a bad chess player when...

    1. ...the name of your signature opening is known as the "White Flag Gambit".
    2. ...when your club hands you the "Most Improved" trophy.
    3. ...when you cannot quite seem to find your queen on the board after a few moves.
  • #1250

    When your opponent has to remind how your pieces can move legally...

  • #1251
    87654321 wrote:

    To assess the position you count the taken pieces at the side of the board

    >:)


     XD

  • #1252
    Javan64 wrote:
    Nongxha wrote:
    When you think that you can defeat every rated player applying fools mate strategy.

    ...or the infamous Bongcloud Attack.


    Do not mess up with the bongcloud! Tongue out

  • #1253
    wbilfc wrote:

    When you buy your 11 yr old son the "How to beat your Dad at chess" book, only to find yourself reading it and learning loads!


    Lol... I just got that book.  So far so good... now all I have to do is convince my Dad to play me at chess (Both my Mom and Dad decided to quit playing me while they still had a 100% standing against me lol).

  • #1254

    When you've just made a stinko move and your opponent sprays you in the face with lemon-scented bathroom deodorizer. Sealed

  • #1255
    Pr0c3550r wrote:
    N2UHC wrote:

    Signs you're a bad chess player

    You play 1. e4 and your opponent says “Mate in 6.”

    Members of your chess club start chuckling when you walk through the door.

    You discover that a tournament is not a good place or time to learn the “en passant” rule.

    Half your chess pieces desert the game.

    Your idea for a king sacrifice doesn't go very well.

    At your last tournament, you tied for last place with a monkey named “Bobo.”

    You consult a chess engine for help with your game, and it tells you that you should have resigned 5 moves ago, and would probably be best if you forget chess and take up stamp collecting.

    After your queen sacrifice, you tell yourself, “At least he won't be using that pawn any more.”

    In the middle of your game, you ask your opponent, “Wait, was I playing white, or black?”

    Your best victory was winning on time when your opponent had to go to the hospital.


    Seems you know what your talking about.

     

    lol

    On my opinion every Grandmaster was once a beginner, we do mistakes, then learn, then improve then master the game, I love the quotes LOL

  • #1256

    You are a bad chess player when, right after you slam down your first move, you screech: "How do you like them apples...hah?!"

  • #1257

    One time when I went to a tournament, someone played their queen from d1 to c3 against me. I told them that wasn't legak, and they said that the queen could move in L-shapes!!!

    This was in a school tournament.

  • #1258

    When you say that the king is the strongest piece.

  • #1259

    You know that you are in trouble as a chess player when you always practice in front of a mirror, making gnarly faces.

    Sadly, you expend more effort on facial contortions than the game.

    And, you get highly indignant if someone has the brassy nerve to say "gg" when you lose (which is always). That's when you "go ape" on them.

  • #1260
    e4nf3 wrote:

    You know that you are in trouble as a chess player when you always practice in front of a mirror, making gnarly faces...


    I don't know!  That approach worked out well for Jim Carrey!

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