Signs you're a bad chess player

U r a bad chess player if u play 1f3,e5 2g4 and ur opponent says that it's over and u answer "What the hell r ya sayin? we've just starting "

You are a bad chess player if you ask your opponent to teach you how to write the chess notations during a tournament game.

Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.

"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels". - Sheldon Cooper. 

You're human. [Let's face it, none of us good players in the truest sense]

The TD asks for your chair before the game starts explaining that someone needs to change a light bulb. When you start to question why he says you'll be finished before the light bulb is changed.

When you think you made a good move you yell "Yahtzee!"

Another sign you're bad chess player is if you can't spell "in passaunt'.

The only chance you get to beat your opponent is wearing a ridiculous hat and hoping it distracts them.

Lol thanks bro! I'll post more the next time I think of a few. You should try some too!

I do agree that this really is a good thread haha. I love it.

You shaved your head once to try a fresh start and the barber found tatooed on the back of your head, "May implode if placed near chess board".

2 signs of a bad player in my opinion:

1. They start boasting about how much of a better player they are.

2. They try to hurry their opponent like an idiot...  Not only are fast players usually full of mistakes, but they're also very annoying, at least to me... I'm sure most may be annoyed by slow players, but I am annoyed by the impatient. Please don't say "hurry", "move" or "what are you doing?" during a game with me... What am I doing? Chances are I'm f*cking THINKING. I don't mind friendly conversation during a game... but it's pretty sh*tty to rush someone during a game in my opinion, I find it very rude.

The ones I played on yahoo were some of the worst... there is a "buzz" option in yahoo messenger that shakes the screen... if I could have strangled the person on the other side of the screen that used to shake the screen to try to rush me... I would have strangled them, but I don't play on yahoo anymore, I only play here. I also find the disable chat to be great, doesn't mean I'm cold... and I enjoy friendly conversation during a game, but if someone is trying to purposely annoy me during a game, it's good to just disable the chat sometimes.

In all honesty I'm probably a bad chess player, I've only played for a few years, but that's my 2 cents anyway.

What?  That's awful! I remember Yahoo! Messenger having that buzz feature, but do you mean to say that your opponent would make the chessboard shake? (Or the whole screen?) I knew Yahoo! Chess was bad (by my own personal experience), but that would be downright appalling!

if you mistaken between "en passant" and "peanuts" and wonder if they could mean the same thing

Your opponent says "J'adoube" and you reply "Bless you".

Your mother gives you a note excusing you from playing.

You wake up one morning to find your hedge shaped into a giant king...............with an axe through his head.

 Your opponent does en passant and you say, "no thanks, im allergic to peanuts"

your avatar is a brown cub biting the ear of an annoyed chained-up rottweiler.

You sit down at the table to play, full of hope, mid zen like, focusing only on the chess to come. Then the flag falls and it's your turn but the only thing that happens is that Bohemian Rhapsoddy starts playing in your head...."Mama, just killed a man, put a gun against his head, pulled my trigger now he's dead........"