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1) The USCF sends you a generous check, requesting you sign up to be a life-long non-member.
2) Your flag refuses to move out of the fallen position before the game.
3) Your digital clock gets stuck in time delay. When you try to fix it, words flash on the screen: "Trust me, I'm doing you a favor."
4) You bring rocks and cement to every tournament, because you play the Stonewall.
5) Your opponent offers to play the game with only his king, and he beats you.
6) The tournament director has made a sign which he puts next to your board, saying "Sorry, that move is illegal." He points to it every time you put your hand on a piece.
7) As white, you move your bishop from b7 to a8. You then take your opponent's knight off the board, claiming you took it "en passant."
8) You always promote your pawn to whatever piece started the game on that square.
9) You get repeatedly crushed by Cassie and Pete on Chessmaster.
10) Opponents have stopped playing you because you insist on sliding your knights to their new squares during the game, bulldozing any hapless pieces that get in their way!
lol. BTW, Stanley (the "random" monkey on chessmaster) never loses to Fool's Mate.
i m very bad chess player but i want to learn :(
can anyone please teach me how to master this game ?Add me to ur facebook account so we can chat and play online :) . my profile ishttp://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100002947988414
(yet another addition to the list)
... when most of your enjoyment comes from insulting players after you lose.
You resign if your opponent opens with Na3
Several of your games are included in the book "how not to play chess"
you comment on thi... oh sorry wrong thread
Your opponent plays the Evans Gambit and you answer with "I'm all in!"
NN is your second.
Worse, NN is your role model.
U r a bad chess player if u play 1f3,e5 2g4 and ur opponent says that it's over and u answer "What the hell r ya sayin? we've just starting "
You are a bad chess player if you ask your opponent to teach you how to write the chess notations during a tournament game.
Bad chess players fail to operate en passent properly in 3D Chess.
"It must be humbling to suck on so many levels". - Sheldon Cooper.
You're human. [Let's face it, none of us good players in the truest sense]
The TD asks for your chair before the game starts explaining that someone needs to change a light bulb. When you start to question why he says you'll be finished before the light bulb is changed.
When you think you made a good move you yell "Yahtzee!"
Another sign you're bad chess player is if you can't spell "in passaunt'.
The only chance you get to beat your opponent is wearing a ridiculous hat and hoping it distracts them.
You often sacrifice your queen by accident.
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Queen's gambit declined/accepted
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