World's Lowest Rated Grandmaster


The Grandmaster title is held for life. Once bestowed, a player is always a GM, no matter what misfortunes may befall him or her. Regardless of how many games he loses, or how far his rating drops, he retains the prestigious title always. Like a Knight in the U.K., or a convicted felon here in the U.S.

Most of us are familiar with the top-rated players. Their names are household words to chess fans: Magnus, Levon, Hikaru, Rory..... no wait...... He's golf. Anyway, these guys are pretty well-known.

But somebody's at the bottom of the pack. Chess ratings rise and fall like the Dow for some woodpushers. Of all these great players, somebody's at rock-bottom at any given time. One of these guys has the lowest numbers of anybody.......

Well, as of August 2014, the guy with that dubious honour is GM Panko Smoobachuk of East Macadamia. From a lofty peak of 2600+, his ratings have plunged dramatically, to a dismal low of 1400-.

Panko attributes this to the lingering effects of a mishap that occurred while attempting to repair a home appliance.

"My toaster was on the fritz. So I figgered I'd poke around inside it with a screwdriver. Of course, I forgot to unplug the darn thing. Well, you can guess the rest.... my own personal 'shock and awe'.

Smoobachuk, just prior to his recent misfortunes in performance. 


This game, from the last round of the Macadamia Open in July, is the one that put Smoobachuk over the top, or should I say 'pushed him to the bottom'........ so to speak.


Thanks for the info. I've corrected the error.

In a surprising development, Smoobachuk turned up at the ongoing Sinquefield Cup Tournament in St.Louis. Stating flatly that "Hikaru blew it", he demonstrated numerous winning lines for white in a bunch of blitz games. Both Caruana and Nakamura dismissed the guy as a crazed lunatic, called security, and had him hauled out of the playing hall.

 Panko's opponent here is Louie Aronian (no relation to Levon). Louie owns a deli down the street and just happened to wander into the place.


IDcode Name T WT Oth. T. Fed Rtg Rpd Blz B-Year S F
2001098 Bisguier, Arthur B GM USA 2170 1929 M
2900238 Spiridonov, Nikola GM BUL 2193 1938 M
7100167 Suradiradja, Herman GM INA 2198 1947 M i
2000270 Lein, Anatoly GM USA 2231 1931 M i
2900165 Popchev, Milko GM BUL 2235 2289 1964 M
903191 Nikolic, Stanimir GM SRB 2243 1935 M
2900300 Radulov, Ivan GM BUL 2245 2353 1939 M i
2800187 Kraidman, Yair GM ISR 2260 2251 1932 M
5800030 Wong, Meng Kong GM SIN 2261 2274 2276 1963 M
4140249 Malinin, Vasily B. GM RUS 2261 2265 2196 1956 M
901431 Ciric, Dragoljub M GM SRB 2269 1935 M i
4104307 Vul, Arkadi Eremeevich GM RUS 2287 2267 2174 1953 M
4103351 Shtyrenkov, Veniamen GM RUS 2292 1958 M
800023 Mariotti, Sergio GM ITA 2295 2288 1946 M
4611276 Espig, Lutz GM GER 2296 1949 M
2900220 Spassov, Liuben GM BUL 2301 1943 M
13600125 Gaprindashvili, Nona GM WGM GEO 2302 2273 2212 1941 F
4117131 Pushkov, Nikolai GM IA RUS 2303 2256 2390 1946 M
5500010 Bouaziz, Slim GM FST,IO TUN 2306 2332 1950 M
2800128 Tseitlin, Mark D GM ISR 2307 2298 2277 1943 M
4146042 Shalnev, Nikolai GM GER 2310 1944 M i
500038 Rantanen, Yrjo A. GM FIN 2311 2288 1950 M
700690 Forintos, Gyozo V GM IA HUN 2317 1935 M i
2000555 Kaufman, Larry C GM USA 2318 2207 1947 M
500020 Westerinen, Heikki M.J. GM FIN 2318 1944 M
12500313 Ghane, Shojaat GM IRI 2321 1975 M i
4611284 Uhlmann, Wolfgang GM GER 2322 1935 M


There's something rather tragic about a low rated GM. Sad, shocking, pitiful, forlorn, heart-rending even - certainly dissatisfactory. Diddly squat, bummer!

Would still beat me, for sure. Crap!


This ought to be a silly joke... no player named Smoobachuk with FIDE rating, let alone GM title.


He's Ivanchuk's drunk alter ego.


***Googles Penko Smoobachuck... sounds like a silly name...***

***Reads again and correct Smoobachuck for Smoobachuk***

***Finds this article***

***No other reference***

pfren wrote:

This ought to be a silly joke... no player named Smoobachuk with FIDE rating, let alone GM title.

Yes, you bring up a good point. Ya' know, I checked Google Earth, and there isn't even any such place as 'East Macadamia'. It sounds like a country, but actually it's just a type of tree that produces tasty nuts.

And speaking of nuts, I think this Smoobachuk character is just a big fraud, a scammer, a bunko artist. Perhaps a sort of Bernie Madoff of chess.......


Where did you pick up your reference, Melvin?


There's No Macadamia Open. 

Just someone looking for attention.


Who really is the lowest rated grandmaster?


I knew since the beginning that there was something fishy about this.

Still a very well written quality shit post, I appreciate it.


I thought Danny has this site under control but apparently not


Panko Smoobachuk of East Macadamia ... happy.png


Yooo what a good troll im dying rn

micky1943 wrote:

Most of the people on the list of lowest rated grandmasters are there simply because the continued to play competitive chess well into old age. Arthur Bisguier, who is first on that list, is nearly 90 years old. In his prime, he won both the US Open and the US Closed championships, represented the United States on five Olympic teams,  and had tournament wins over Bobby Fischer, Sammy Reshevsky, and Bent Larsen, among others. I saw Bisguier at the US Amateur Teams tournament in New Jersey a coupe of years back. He had enormous glasses and appeared to be nearly blind. But he was still enjoying playing chess, and didn't give a damn about his rating

Too right.  Please note the thread was from 2014 and at 85 years old GM Bisguier was still playing and at candidate master level. 

fburton wrote:

There's something rather tragic about a low rated GM. Sad, shocking, pitiful, forlorn, heart-rending even - certainly dissatisfactory. Diddly squat, bummer!

Would still beat me, for sure. Crap!

I don't think it's tragic at all. All credit to GMs like Biguier and so on who still have enough get up and go, enthusiasm and energy to continue to make the effort to play in rated tournaments and matches well into old age. I think that it's rather life affirming. I'm sure if you asked them, they'd (genuinely) tell you that they don't give a s*%t about their ratings, that they just continue to enjoy the challenge and buzz of chess events. I'm sure if you looked at it the other way around and sought only the highest rated GMs over 70 years old, you'd find that most GMs still living of that age were no longer rated (owing to inactivity in rated chess) and that Bisguier (at least at the time of the earlier posts on this thread) was pretty much near the top of the rating ladder for 70 pluses. Good on you, Arthur! I know for sure that even at 90 years old OTB you'd have still beaten me and no doubt most of the people on this thread as you would a ginger stepchild. What is tragic is the fact that all of us get older, gradually lose our faculties (either physical or mental) and die. It is this universal human tragedy that prevents other aging GMs from joining (or having joined) the evidently evergreen Bisguier at chess events.


World's Lowest Rated Grandmaster...

Tune in next week for our expose on the World's Tallest Midget.


     Recently, Smoobachuk's fortunes have improved dramatically. Last year, he finished near the top in a half dozen tournaments. And three weeks ago, he won the prestigious East Tibia Open, ahead of a field of 82 GMs, 224 IMs and two Stratego players who went off their medication. Panko attributes his fantastic comeback to a strict regimen of fresh fruit, vegetables and dancing with a mailman once a week. Below is Smoobachuk's win over GM Byron "Bumpy" Bimpenstock  that clinched first place for him.