1000 signs you're not a very good chess player

poeticenvy92

92. You think suicide chess is where the loser must commit suicide...and you loose

93. You get your rook, queen, and king forked by your opponent's knight, and when moving out of check, your opponent takes your rook and forks your king and queen

94. You try to play the Sicilian dragon variation because it has the word "dragon" in it's name.

95. You think the only way to beat the Sicilian is through the Yugoslav attack

96. You refer to the English opening as "the white Sicilian"

97. You fall for the trap in Petrov's defense

98. You regularly confuse Kasparov with Karpov

99. You think Bobby Fischer was a fisherman

100. You try to castle when you're in check 

ajttja

@Sortoman1: can't you take a joke?

ajttja

we are try to get to 1000 not 100 so everyone should start making some of their own

ive already made like 20

jaechungrox

101. White has a king and pawn, black has a king only. You move the pawn and decide to promote your pawn into a knight, because by doing that you can check black's king. "CHECK!!!" You shout, proud of yourself for checking the king. You look back at the board and say "you're gonna resign yet, bro?"

mightqxc
poeticenvy92 wrote:

92. You think suicide chess is where the loser must commit suicide...and you loose

93. You get your rook, queen, and king forked by your opponent's knight, and when moving out of check, your opponent takes your rook and forks your king and queen

94. You try to play the Sicilian dragon variation because it has the word "dragon" in it's name.

95. You think the only way to beat the Sicilian is through the Yugoslav attack

96. You refer to the English opening as "the white Sicilian"

97. You fall for the trap in Petrov's defense

98. You regularly confuse Kasparov with Karpov

99. You think Bobby Fischer was a fisherman

100. You try to castle when you're in check

 

I think 93. is not possible for one opponent's knight alone because if queen is unmoved, she cannot be attacked by the  same knight again succesively (since knight move changes its color of attaking square)

mchlbhm

102. You feel like everyone in this post has been spying on you.

lessthan10

103. You try to promote your pawn to a king

TerrorShaunofMauve

when you help your opponent checkmate you in 3 (it happened)

lessthan10

105. When you have a chance to fork a bishop, knight, and rook as well as check, but choose to take a pawn. (my teacher is not the best chess player)

lessthan10

TerrorShaunofMauve

your chesws.com id is wehttam4

ThrillerFan

106. You show clear signs of being completed uneducated in simpler, more basic areas like speaking your own language!

For example, the following by a British user.  Note the "spectacular" spelling (NOT! - Uhm, British English doesn't look like what is below - I know most differences between British and American, like colour vs color), grammar (NOT!), proper capitalization (more accurate would be "lack thereof"), use of apostrophes in contractions (again, lack thereof), etc:

"

Pls i just thought bout this. basicly when i play my games nd im calculatin i think ok if i do this he move there nd if i do this he cant go there etc... but i dont think if i go g7 he goes a1 or he cant go b2 because im blocking it wit my night on c9 or sumat... 

 

but i notice all gud gms can go liek dat they talk bout the squares nd their doin it so fast that im still tryin to figure out wich square it is...

 

so i guess my questin is it it beter if i think in terms of squaare cordinates when im calculatin... cos i recently wached video of sumone doin blindfold traini nd he solved the questin before i cud work out wich square a piece was etc..."

Upgrayedd

107. More than 50% of your lifetime victories have been "pity resignations."

Fear_ItseIf

you play the parham

Upgrayedd

You've lost to the Parham more than once.

modee1

108. You don't know what Parham is, or you've always known what it means

Rivenx100

109. You act out elaborate fight scenes when making a capture.

TetsuoShima

110 you play like me

thedeliveryman

111. When PCP improves your ELO rating by 50 points.

GreedyPawnGrabber

You play the French cause you have not been with a woman for over a month.