ending my relationship due to chess

  • #61
    Estragon wrote:

    Well, his girlfriend moved away, and won't return his calls, so I don't blame the lad for giving her up.  Why, if a lady treated me that way, I'd dump her, too!

    Yeah. If she dumps you first, dump her!

  • #62
    returnofxpchesser wrote:

     for example ever since she moved away she has not made any effort to talk to me or keep in contact with me and if i do it seems like a bother for her to talk to me.

    Sounds to me like the relationship has already been ended.

  • #63
    granitoman wrote:

    I think it all depends on what activity you find more enjoyable:

    Chess or Sex, it's your call.

    By the way Bobby Fischer is credited to say "chess is better".

    A lot of that depends on the girl.

  • #64
    granitoman wrote:

    I think it all depends on what activity you find more enjoyable:

    Chess or Sex, it's your call.

    By the way Bobby Fischer is credited to say "chess is better".

    Or you could just be like a normal human being a get both by dumping her ass and finding someone who actually supports the things you enjoy.

  • #65
    returnofxpchesser wrote:

    to focus on chess more. is this a good Idea? it seems that everytime i want to play chess for atleast study it my girlfriend gets in the way. Im sorry i like chess and i feel my gf is getting in the way.

    me and my girlfriend has been fighting alot besides me playing chess. for example ever since she moved away she has not made any effort to talk to me or keep in contact with me and if i do it seems like a bother for her to talk to me.

    Girlfriends are around for a short time. Chess is forever.

  • #66
    MisssSunshine wrote:

    i hope not all chess players in this website are such losers like OP.....sad

    Yeah. I mean even having to come to chess.com when he should have just dumped her.

  • #67

    Eric, Little Miss Sunshine.

  • #68

    I had the same problem in my last marriage... My wife told me that I was no longer able to play chess every 3 months in an out-of-town tournament.

    Apparently I made a very bad choice when I married her, but NOBODY is going to tell me what I can and can not do!  I missed her until I found a new g/f that was not so domineering.

    Seriously... if you enter a marriage and one person starts complaining about your hobby, let's say you quit chess. Then your friends want you to join a Golf League and you do. Guess what? NOW the gremlin is going to complain because you are spending too much time with Golf.

    I want every young man and woman to understand that entering a relationship does not mean that your spouse has total control over you. People have to have things that they enjoy outside of the marriage. If they don't then the marriage will not last.

    Don

  • #69
    Arrakis09 wrote:

     People have to have things that they enjoy outside of the marriage. If they don't then the marriage will not last.

    Don

    This is important. If you only jump where you are told, exactly when you are told, then you turns into a boring person with lack of drive and power, and that is turnoff for your partner, The love will vanish.

  • #70
    MisssSunshine wrote:

    i hope not all chess players in this website are such losers like OP.....sad

    He is not a loser at all, on the contrary, he has just won a life free of alimony and child support!

  • #71
    DavidChCh wrote:
    MisssSunshine wrote:

    i hope not all chess players in this website are such losers like OP.....sad

    He is not a loser at all, on the contrary, he has just won a life free of alimony and child support!

    Oh, and what a mess it is to have a child and be divorced. I went through this process when I divorced the cheating wife that was married to me and my little girl was 4 years old. NOW my little girl is grown up and 45 !!!

    But she still carries the scars of her real dad not raising her. I suffer too. And that doesn't begin to mention the $100,000 that I paid in alimony for 14 years.

    So I must say again that I recommend TWO very important things:

    1) Always discuss your hobbies and have an agreement before you marry that it is 'healthy to have other interests'.

    2) Please.... do not have a child until you have been married for 2 years and can determine that the marriage is strong.

    You will have a much happier life if you do those 2 simple things.

    Cheers,

    Don

  • #72
    Arrakis09 wrote:
    DavidChCh wrote:
    MisssSunshine wrote:

    i hope not all chess players in this website are such losers like OP.....sad

    He is not a loser at all, on the contrary, he has just won a life free of alimony and child support!

    Oh, and what a mess it is to have a child and be divorced. I went through this process when I divorced the cheating wife that was married to me and my little girl was 4 years old. NOW my little girl is grown up and 45 !!!

    But she still carries the scars of her real dad not raising her. I suffer too. And that doesn't begin to mention the $100,000 that I paid in alimony for 14 years.

    So I must say again that I recommend TWO very important things:

    1) Always discuss your hobbies and have an agreement before you marry that it is 'healthy to have other interests'.

    2) Please.... do not have a child until you have been married for 2 years and can determine that the marriage is strong.

    You will have a much happier life if you do those 2 simple things.

    Cheers,

    Don

    I'm sorry you went through this horrible experience, but the solutions you propose are useless.

    You can agree what you want before you marry, but in practice once you are married she can divorce you and take you to the cleaners anytime you want.

    It does not matter if your marriage is fantastic, the law is firmly on the woman's side. The vast majority of divorces are initiated by women. As soon as she gets bored, you will have to bite the bullet.

    I wish you the best of luck in keeping alive as good a relationship as possible with your daughter. Remember, it was never your daughter's fault and you still have a bond that keeps you together.

  • #73
    DavidChCh wrote:

    You can agree what you want before you marry, but in practice once you are married she can divorce you and take you to the cleaners anytime you want.

    It does not matter if your marriage is fantastic, the law is firmly on the woman's side. ...

  • #74

                     Correction;   take you to the cleaners anytime SHE wants. Not anytime YOU want.   I want the cleaners to be closed.

  • #75

    You really don't need any citation to prove common knowledge iron tiger, just have a good look around you. Better still, keep your head buried in the sand, and wait till it happens to you... We still need people to reproduce after all.

    You are correct Ronald of course, apologies for the typo.

  • #76
    returnofxpchesser wrote:

    to focus on chess more. is this a good Idea? it seems that everytime i want to play chess for atleast study it my girlfriend gets in the way. Im sorry i like chess and i feel my gf is getting in the way.

    me and my girlfriend has been fighting alot besides me playing chess. for example ever since she moved away she has not made any effort to talk to me or keep in contact with me and if i do it seems like a bother for her to talk to me.

    I think you'll never be that good at chess to be forced to sacrifice you real life for a board game. 

  • #77
    DavidChCh wrote:

    You really don't need any citation to prove common knowledge iron tiger (...)

    Except that "common knowledge" being most often the result of prejudice accumulated during years of uncritical thinking, if you cannot justify it a posteriori, you should probably drop it.

  • #78

    Yes you are hundred percent correct tiger.

    Some people can only learn through experience...

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